Friday, 30 December 2011
After a lengthy and rather one trick fight with Ichigo (and what do you expect when you steal the moveset of a person with only one move ?) Ginjo gets out his biggest, whitest set of teeth and says, with his usual restraint and witt
Now children, can anyoen tell me what the answer is ? No, well then let me explain:
1. Nothing you've ever said made sense and every time you open your mouth you grossly contradict everything you've said before
How many completely contradictory explanations on how Fullbrings works have you given us so far, Mr. "He can't have memory alteration powers, I'd remember that !". And then who could forget "Fullbring powers can't evolve, only change".
2. Thusly you have been given at least three different oportunities to explain the basics of your powers, and yet they're still as vague as before
I still have no idea how being fond of one item that you're especialy close to makes you make air want to repell you, or whisky want to slip through your gullet ?
3. You're big "reveal" wasn't that big of a reveal
Considering that it basicly amounted to a GPS/security failsafe, which the person directly involved with doesn't even mind because he apparently thinks being tricked is okay (which is some other can of worms entierly)
4. Your entiere organisation is destroyed
So whatever vague, unexplained goal you might have, you're not gonna accomplish it. Especialy if this "goal" is revenge against Soul Society. Aizen had an army of legendary level hollows and a wish granting orb in his chest, you have a sword and Ichigo's bankai.
5. There are four, FOUR captains outside, capable of instantly killing you the moment you win
Again, planning on taking on four of them with Ichigo's bankai ?
6. With purposefully leaving Tsukishima dead you lose the ability to make anyone instantly your lackie, so this won't save your ass.
This guy was the only thing that could give you the advantage to aproach the level of Aizen's theat, simply due to how haxed it is (like it making people completely oblivious to the glaring contradictions and seemingly impossible chains of events)
7. Even though you claim to have been acing this whole fight, you did nothing of the sort yet
Swinging your sword back and forth and missing isn't considered a flawless victory.
8. Even though you tried to intimidate Ishida, he can still very easily shoot you in the back while Ichigo spars with you
At any time that Ichigo has blocked your sword, Ishida could have just easily shot you right in the ass. There is seriously no reason why Ishida should not have intervened and ended this, beyond, of course, Kubo wanting Ichigo to get solo XP's from this fight, as usual.
9. Your new "ability" so far is one attack, one single basic slash attack the hero has been using for like 400 chapters.
Captain Commander Yamamoto can incinerate an entiere city with a huge pillar of fire. Mayuri can be night unkilllable due to his fake organs. Komamura has a giant mech.
YOU have Ichigo's bankai.
10. Your smug and annoying
I believe I'll just reuse this older compilation I've made.
And this was when you were supposedly brainwashed to be a good guy.
Wednesday, 21 December 2011
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
In my last entry, some eons ago, I gave an overview of the sheer ludicrousness of Ginjou and Tsukishima's self-brainwashing scheme, as well as their method of approaching Ichigo. Since the Substitute Shinigami Arc is coming to a close and almost all the cards have been dealt, I thought that it’s time to move through the different phases of the magnificent duo's plan step by step.
My goal is to see if everything that has happened so far holds up to their recently unveiled scheme of:
- Give Ichigo Fullbring powers
- Steal powers
- Cheese it!
- No repercussions from soul society!
- Use marginal increase in strength to show the world! SHOW THEM ALL!
Spoiler: Not much of it makes sense. After these recent reveals, you can affix a “why did they do that?” to pretty much every step of the plan. So let’s get started:
Phase I: Contact with Ichigo
The very first thing they did was have Ichigo meet Ginjou, after Ginjou had his bag stolen. Let me just pull the brakes right here and ask: How exactly they can plan for a random thug to steal Ginjou's bag at just the right time and place? Because surely they must’ve planned it--the alternative is that Mr. Superpowered Building Block Destroyer Ginjou Kuugo accidentally got mugged by a bottom tier goon, which is absolutely hilarious. Maybe this actually is the case though, because I can’t see how this meeting contributes to the Plan in any way. Ichigo gets the bag, gives Ginjou the bag, and leaves. Nothing that happens has any significance for their later meeting, which is where Ginjou starts blabbering about Ichigos family, so absolutely nothing is accomplished.
I guess we get to see Ginjou take out his badge on an open street for no real reason while he’s talking to himself, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why any sane person would do that, least of all someone on the run from the shinigami authorities, and especially someone who knows the badge is a freaking surveillance device! How Ginjou never got caught is beyond me. From the writers perspective the scene of course serves to make him seem mysterious and show off the badge to pique the readers’ interest, but that doesn’t make the scene any less bizarre…or pointless.
Then Ginjou makes proper contact at Ichigo's job, and sows the seeds that will make Ichigo come train with them. I talked at length about how stupidly they handled this last time, and I still wonder why they couldn’t just flat out tell him that they could help him with his reiatsu insufficiency. That way we’d have avoided all that nonsense about Ichigo doubting his father and friend. And choosing to meet Ichigo at his job and reveal how you’ve been spying on his family in front of his boss seems counterintuitive. Yes yes, she doesn’t know about shinigami and such, but Ginjou is still supposed to be lying low.
Worth noting is that at this point, judging by Ginjou's rooftop meeting with Bradley and Riruka (I cannot promise that I won't subconsciously call her Perona. Hm? What's that about the chainsaw guy from soul eater? I don't know what you're talking about. There's just Bradley), all the Fullbringers seem to be on their Evil setting: The panel layout and dialogue makes Ginjo seem like a shady character (which he is), and Perona sneers as she states how she wished she could see Ichigo's face as Ginjou talked about his family.
Then they proceed to the next phase:
Phase II: Create Xcution, and give Ichigo a reason to join
On the very same day, Ishida gets attacked. Ichigo immediately contacts the guys who gave him a callcard earlier, not thinking it weird that mere hours after being approached by them he is given incentive to join them. Meanwhile, Ishida refuses to give any details about his attacker. The reason for this is obvious--it’d have cut the whole arc short, duh! And Kubo probably didn’t know it was Ginjou who did it at that time. In any case, you’ve got to admire the nobleness of Ishida's decision here, where he basically has renounced his life and given himself over to death. After all, you’re having all your friends abandon you, including the chick that could heal you instantly, just because your attacker might come back. This leaves you with a snowball's chance in hell of surviving if he actually does show up. I’m glad this dramatic moment got the panel time it deserved, we really felt that Ishida understood the gravity of his choice, and we’ll ignore the fact that if his attackers really wanted Ishida dead they could’ve finished him off when he was unconscious and bleeding on the pavement. Again, check last post for even more stupidity regarding this step of the plan.
It is not until this point that the Fullbringers get brainwashed into being anti-Tsukishima. We must assume all of them got this treatment, because they need to share the confirmed brainwashed Ginjou's delusions if they are to keep their cover. If anyone isn’t up to date on the fake backstory it all falls apart, and it’s not like they can read Ginjou's mind or had a script of it or anything. Then there's Tsukishima's offscreen fullbring friend-recruiting session and, further indicating a change, we get several scenes of the Fullbringers expressing concern for Ichigo when he’s not around, and Riruka's evil attitude towards him has completely evaporated. Strangely, so has most of her knowledge about Ichigo; she yells about how they can’t trust him, and doesn’t even know his face anymore. Pretty fucking weird considering how much they’ve been spying on Ichigo, their specific targeting of him, and the rooftop scene, but whatever. Who am I to judge how Tsukishima's amazingly handy (for the writer, anyway) ability rewrites stuff?
Bottom line is, from this point on the Fullbringers now believe they’re good, and that they’ve got an organization with radically different goals and history than before:
True Xcution is a bunch of thugs giving people fullbring, and then taking it from them.
Fake Xcution hates having fullbring, and several members (who, since this story is false, never existed) have given up those powers, by seeking out people like Ichigo (who also never existed).
Seems like an awful lot of backstory/worldview to change by just altering their perception of Tsukishima, especially with all the former or dead members who didn’t actually exist. But this is the minor problem.
The main problem is Chad.
Chad has been a member of Xcution for quite a while before Ichigo joins. He knows their names, has been socializing with them, used their training methods and so on, so he’s been part of the Fake Xcution for at least some time-
The Fake Xcution which has only existed for a single day.
Well, now this just seems silly.
A lot of the other stuff in this plan is stupid, overcomplicated, or strains your suspension of disbelief. But this is just flat out impossible. Chad cannot join an organization before it is formed.
But since no was supposed to be brainwashed before this point, perhaps the fullbringers have just lied to, and fooled Chad instead!
Note that this whole explanation is something I made up completely from scratch, based on no hints whatsoever. That’s what you have to do to try and untangle Kubo's work: make up the explanations for him, because you're damned if he’ll do it, and it’s something you’ll notice me doing often in this piece. The only problem is that even my wholly unfounded theory designed specifically to make this thing make sense cannot cut it.
Because if they just lied to Chad they could have done the same to Ichigo, and the brainwash scheme is again-you guessed it- utterly pointless.
To be continued...
Monday, 22 August 2011
When I sugested creating this blog, I hoped that I could transfer into blog post form what I do whenever I read a new Bleach chapter, that is post my first impressions of every page that left any. I started with 451, and wanted to wait a week before doing the next installment, but then, personal issues (a combination of real and imagined) prevented me from dissecting the following chapter, until the begining of what I like to call the "Ever spiraling staircase of anger and rage" that were the "Tsukishima mindfucks everyone" chapters ,running up till about two weeks ago.
The one thing that annoyed me, that stopped me from being able to give any kind of impression on these chapters beyond a small handfull of words that could very easily get this site an "adult rating" was just one thing, just one little tiny aspect of these chapters that later on somehow became ever more terifyingly painfull to bear.
Chad and Orihime. The main characters who weren't in this series for several years now (barring Orihime's episodic and pointless cameo at the end of the last arc). Ones who very recently admited they had actualy trained, and in fact still were training, in order to not be useless anymore.
And then they're brainwashed, thinking that everything that Ichigo ever did was done by Tsukishima, then start to fight and attack Ichigo, blocking and healing his attacks on Tsukishima, even after the latter starts attacking Ichigo again and evily gloats about his awesome powers - in fact admits he changed their pasts in front of them, and this doesn't even make them wince, nor react in any way.
This is without a doubt the worst possible case of character rape I have ever seen. This is beyond Yamcha, this is a whole new level of character derailment, and quite frankly, I was, and still am quite baffled at just how something this bad, uncharacteristic and just plain dumb could have happened.
Rukia's recent apearance (on which neither of the two commented or reacted to in the slightest, strenghtening my suspicions that the 10 people inexplicably missing from chapter 460 have gone out for a pizza or something) gives me a tiny shred of hope that maybe, just maybe, Chad will try uttering his Tsukishima-worship BS about how he saved her life, only for Rukia to smack some sense into the two, using raw pain and simple, logical questions, break the impossibly contradictory mind rape inflicted upon them by "Shuu-chan". Granted Ichigo should have done that ages ago, but I digress
So there you have my little explanation. I'll try to get back on track (even though I never properly got on in the first place), but in the meanwhile, enjoy these random ramblings of mine.
Sunday, 14 August 2011
And boy is this the weirdest ambush ever. “Hey dude, I got an idea! You go walking around on that rooftop there, above Ichigos home. Then, his friend can’t help but follow you! Then, suddenly, you surprise him by doing a 180 directly into his face, only you don’t actually attack. That’s when I, waiting on the streets, seize my chance to jump up and attack!”
“Uh, couldn’t I just attack when I surprise him? I could just, you know, not brainwash him, just cut him. That way I’ll be the only villain, and it minimizes risk-
“Dude that’s like, wayyyyy too boring. My plans much better”
And what the hell is up with the line “sheesh, this is one of Kurosakis friends, right?”
What? You mean you didn’t know!? You just thought you were roughing up some random dude who stalked Shuu-chans rooftop reading stroll? The thing that set the whole damn arc in motion was pure fucking chance!?
"Because that would be boring" NO THATS NOT WHY YOU MORON!
If you brainwashed Ishida he would just return without physical injuries, and maybe with a weird new friend. If this is how you want to motivate Ichigo, you NEED to have Ishida injured.
EVERYTHING hinges on Ichigo being so worried about his friends that he'll go to completely untrustworthy strangers to get powers! He wont be that if Ishida gets brainwashed into being fine and dandy!
At which point he has already conversed with Ichigo THREE TIMES
And managed to gain his trust despite saying nothing but "LOL your dads suspicious" and "LOL Uraharas suspecious"
I know Ichigo has all the brains of a block of granite, but still, "can't act" my fucking ass.
- As a matter of fact, why does Ichigo contact Ginjo at all? Ishida is hurt and Ichigo wants strength to protect his friends, I get that, but why does he think Ginjo can help with that? The absolute only thing Ginjo has done prior to the training is say that Isshin is suspicious, and that Urahara is suspicious. Nothing about “hey, gimme a call if you need some training”. Ah, but Ichigo says that because they knew about him and his dad, they can’t be ordinary humans, and hence should be able to train him.
Riiiight. Apart from that reasoning being a huge stretch, just them knowing your fathers name and the existence of Urahara shop doesn’t mean they are spiritually attuned or anything. They could be detectives, or just have spied on Isshin and Urahara and noticed they are up to weird stuff. They could be completely normal and know these things.
But Ichigo, you know who else knows Isshin and Uraharas secrets? Keigo, and your other schoolmates. In fact, random people were capable of seeing Mulletzen in all his glory. Are any of those “normal humans”? Technically no. Would any of those be capable of training you? No fucking way. His reasoning is fundamentally nonsensical.
But screw their untrustworthiness and the fact that theres nothing indicating they can be of any help, Ichigo calls Xcution because he has no one else to count on. No, not even the Aizen level guy who has that shop around the block and you’ve known for several years. Not even the Aizen-level shinigami in his own home, whom he’s known his entire life. Because Ginjo said they were suspicious – never mind the fact that they haven’t DONE anything suspicious- and who are we to trust the words of characters who have helped Ichigo the entire series, compared to some strange new dude who rambles about ramen?
- I’m bugged by their stalker-knowledge of Ichigo and the timing of this whole debacle. Okay, so they know that Ichigo was a substitute shinigami, that he killed hollows, lost his powers and yadda yadda. I sincerely doubt that Karakura library has these events on record, or that soul-sensitive security cameras have captured them, so it’s impossible for anyone to learn these things after Ichigo lost his powers. Which would mean they were stalking him a year ago, somehow keeping tabs on his movements for +40 volumes from the sidelines without being seen. Which begs the question: Why have they been sitting on their asses so long, and not approached Ichigo ages ago? They could have done it after Soul Society easily! “Ah, but only a powerless Ichigo would be desperate enough to trust them so they needed to wait!” One, they had no way of knowing he would lose his powers. Two, it is entirely possible a hitherto unknown group could approach an Ichigo brooding over his inner hollow, claim that they too have inner hollow issues, gain his trust and put him through hazardous training excersizes. Actually, exactly that happened.
Oh yeah, and all the stalking in the world can’t explain how they knew Ichigo had an inner hollow. The ONLY time he was masked in the real world was for 10 SECONDS of fight with Grimmjow, and the two GJ fights are also the only times Ichigo shows off getsuga tenshou.
Then maybe Chad told them all that stuff! Only Chad was said to have joined because they told him they’d be getting Ichigos powers back. So there.
- You need one guy to train Ichigo, and another to antagonize and motivate him. Makes sense. But heres’ a crazy thought: What if Tsukishima took Ginjos role? Ginjo could be the douchebag villain- in other words, his normal self- and Tsukishima befriends Ichigo. This has the huuuuge advantage of Ginjo not needing to be brainwashed, plus Tsukishima has a pretty surefire way of making friends with people. With no-one brainwashed they could keep in touch, and Ginjo would know the instant Ichigos powers had ripened to their most delicious state.
- Fuck, why not just scrap the need for a villain entirely? Let me just condense the entire Fullbringer nonsense to the bare minimum of what the NotAizens could have done to achieve their goal:
*Ichigo walks home from school *
Ichigo: What the – oh, if it isn’t my best friend with those funky fullbring powers, Shuu-san!
Tsukishima: Ichigo my friend, how would you like to get your powers back? I have gathered some people who can help you with a training program!
Ichigo: Sounds great, after all you’re the most trustworthy guy I know!
Tsukishima: Very good Ichigo, we are almost done. By the way, meet this new friend of mine.
Ichigo: Huh, there appears to be a sword stuck in my chest
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED- If for some reason it absolutely had to be Shuu Chan being the villain and Ginjo getting brainwashed, why didn’t Ginjo just give Tsukishima a list of all the hideouts? He obviously new of the first one (them staying there is a whole other dose of stupid. HERP DERP WHY DOES OUR FORMER LEADER KNOW OUR BASE), but he never showed up at the second, and used Yukio to track them down at the third. It would have made things much much easier if he’d known all of them, that way he could show up anywhere at any time, check on Ichigos progress, and de-brainwash Ginjo.
- How exactly do you drain a fullbring power? If I’ve understood anything from Kubos hamfisted exposition, it’s that the fullbringer communicates with an items soul via his own soul, and manipulates the item to produce his fullbring. Or in other words, Ichigo talked to his badge, and it covered him with goo. So what is it Ginjo steals? It looks like he just sucks up Ichigos armor, but in that case you’d think Ichigo could just have his badge barf up a new one. Appearantly not though. So what did Ginjo do? Did he eat the ability of Ichigos badge to get activated? Did he eat Ichigos mental connection with his badge? Neither of these seems more like thoughts than like a thing you can just absorb.
More to come
Thursday, 14 July 2011
By the time Ichigos was revealed, the bankais we’d seen were:
- A giant Samurai warrior who follows your movement
- A giant baboon skeleton snake whip-thing
- A million pieces of flying shrapnel that you can control and shape into whatever you want
- A giant poisonous fetus caterpillar with swords poking out of its torso
- A giant sphere that locks down all the senses of everyone in it, besides the user
The unique trait of Ichigos bankai is to compress his power into the size of a normal sized blade. Well that’s a bit anticlimactic but it sure is unique compared to all the extraordinary other ban –
The special ability of Ichigos bankai is what every single other captain level zanpakuto wielder is subconsciously doing to their swords all the time. And Ichigo gets stronger by compressing his power, whereas everyone else gets stronger by releasing it. Not only is Ichigos method thus opposite of the Standard Rules Of Transformation of the shonen genre (Freezer wasn’t strongest in his first form, was he?), it goes against all the captains and arrancar of Bleach itself – and thus infers that everyone would potentially be better off not releasing their swords at all.
But that’s not really my issue here, that’s just tangential rambling. What really got me was the realization that the only unique thing about Ichigos bankai was something every other relevant character could do. But wait! Unlike everyone else, Ichigos bankai gives him a huge speed boost! None of the other guys have that!
Well, apart from the Bleachverse having separate speedboosting techniques for Qiuncies, Shinigami, Hollows AND fullbringers, speed based fighters in Bleach are not exactly scarce. Yourichi, Soifon and Byakuya are all known as speedsters of soul society, Zommari had his afterimages, Grimmjow and Ulq had speed increasing transformations, Aizen could move in the blink of an eye, Jackies boots make her fleet footed, and even
Ah, but his bankai gives him his trusty signature attack, Getsuga Tenshou! That’s Ichigos thing, his trademark!
…Which is also used by Urahara, and Isshin. Plus, as some may forget, it is not a bankai specific skill; Shikai Ichigo was launching flying sword slashes too, all his Bankai did was color it black. And really, Getsuga Tenshou as a signature technique and pretty much ONLY technique of the series main character is just plain not cutting it. Go through any shonen series that features a swordsman, and odds are they’ll launch a flying slash from their blade.
Hell, even Naruto has introduced this move lately, used by Samurai warriors, ranking pretty low on the fodder tier list. Whereas main character Ichigos GT comprises his entire repertoire, and is differentiated from everyone elses by being chocolate flavored.
Well…his bankai does come with a wardrobe change…he gets a slightly matrixified black garb, compared to his usual black garb.
Except yawn. A shikai-bankai comparison of Ichigo is completely and utterly unremarkable compared to every arrancar transformation ever, and Renji and Jackie have the clothes-transformation skill too. And we can’t forget Lord Aizen and his faaaaabulous last minute array of outfit changes. So, the only thing unique Ichigos bankai leaves him with is that his amount of clothing serves as a gauge of his strength, which as far as abilities go, is hard to describe with a straight face.
But maybe Ichigos’ bankai didn’t need to be anything special. After all, being part shinigami part hollow made him different, since it gave him his mask, and-
But why? Why did Ichigo end up this way? This time I’m not even going to pretend I don’t know. If you are to introduce a powerup for your main character that he will be relying on for the foreseeable future, consider this:
What is easier to draw?
- A giant baboon skeleton snake whip-thing
- A slightly different black cloak and a new sword, and the same old fighting style
And which weapon is easier to write fights for?
- A giant baboon skeleton snake whip-thing
- a sword that shoots beams
And there you go.