Thursday, 12 July 2018

Bleach Analysis - Burn the Witch?

Ladies and gents, the saga is not over. After almost a year without him, Tite Kubo is returning with a new one-shot, titled Burn the Witch.
Female Byakuya?

Now at this point, this could be a fresh start for Kubo, and why shouldn't he start anew, right? Bleach has its novels, gatcha game, and live-action movie, but this could be something new. 

I was pretty interested in seeing what he was going to create, not in a wholly negative way, just....with a new approach and learning from his mistakes, maybe Tite-san can make something....well, awesome, y'know?

My excitement was dampered when I saw some spoilers.

The story is set in London.
Dragons are not fictional but they're also not living creatures.
People on Surface London cannot see dragons, the ones who can see dragons are those who live in Inner London
Legend says that 72% of deaths in Europe are caused by dragons. Rioting dragons will bring harm to humanity.
So it's the job of Inner London residents to manage, control, and protect the dragons. The organization established for this purpose is WB.
The black hair female MC on the surface world is a normal highschooler, likes wearing uniforms, likes Japan/Japanese things, has never been to Japan but gave herself a Japanese name. Her phone ringtone is the intro of Dragonball.
Male MC is the female MC's childhood friend and likes her, but the female MC ignores him.
Male MC accidentally saw the female MC walk into a telephone booth and disappear.
Always thinks about female MC's panties.
Dragons are not only a danger, but they're also a resource.
Only witches and magicians can come into contact with dragons. The female MC is a highschooler on the surface world, but in Inner London she's a first class protection officer.
>纖維龍 雷電龍 礦石龍甚至還有食用的龍。故事的這一天女主和金毛是“收穫”的工作,去採集養殖的龍資源。
Fiber dragons, electricity dragons, ore dragons, and even dragons meant for eating. One day in the story the female MC and blondie are doing "havesting" work, gathering dragon resources
On the way they get news that a black dragon appeared on Surface London. Their job changes to extermination.
Black dragon: After coming into contact with humans, it is a dragon that has received nagative emotions from people. It has higher intelligence, knows human language, and will harm people. Black dragons in the surface world need to possess a living creature that has died.
The black dragon that appeared in Surface London is the male MC's close friend (older brother figure) and pet dog.
It turns out that when the guy was 7 years old, he died to save male MC, and it was that time that he got possessed by the dragon. The pet dog was found by the male MC two months ago, and it was already dead at that time.
The negative emotions that the pet dog absorbed was the male MC wanting to see the female MC's panties. The reason for the close friend dragon is to eat witches and to not let them live long.
Male MC cannot see dragons, but he saw the blond girl in danger and went to save the blond.
>基友:看到新妹子就動心了、你不是喜歡女主嗎! ?
Close friend: You see a new girl and you're already tempted, didn't you love the female MC!?
Male MC: I'm not doing this because of her, but because of you. These past ten years you're the one who have always played with me. When seeing a friend killing someone how can I be indifferent?
The close friend says you must be stupid.
The female MC appears, says the male MC was a little cool, and then ruthlessly wipes out the close friend.
>非魔女和魔法使與龍接觸是要死刑的。但是男主因長時間與龍接觸被龍附身、已經是龍了 是保護對象、在保護官的職責內接受管理不會被殺。
Non-witches and non-magicians who come into contact with dragons are supposed to get the death penalty. But because the male MC who has spent a long time being in contact with dragons and possessed by dragons, is already a dragon. He's thus a target to be protected, and is within a protection officer's obligations to be managed and not killed.
The one that possessed the male MC is the pet dog black dragon, and the negative emotion is wanting to see the female MC's panties.
This is the western branch of Soul Society. And the world will not end------


where do i b e g i n

First off, it's cool that the setting is London, it's a little more fantasy-esque and creative than sticking to regular Japan. Not that a series can't work, but when you have brand new worlds like in One Piece, Naruto, Hunter X Hunter, Dragon Ball, Toriko, etc. it can be something exciting.

But.....these "dragons" seem a little too close to Hollows for comfort. They're not living? They attack people? Normies can't see them? It already opens with a death connected to the MC.

And it tops off with a blatant Soul Society name drop.

And it's not fake.

What does it mean? It soft confirms Bleach and Burn the Witch as being part in the same universe. This wasn't just a cute easter egg, the one-shot concludes with this.
Granted this could be like eons after Bleach's events happened (where society kinda flatlined in terms of evolution, but bare with me)

I'm honestly torn on this. In a way this is sort of worldbuilding for Bleach, something it really needed once we got stuck in the same three locations for events. And it's a one-shot, which does not mean transition to a full series. Shonen Jump could pass on this, and Kubo could just have to start over.

I can't even say that it contradicts anything in my Soul Society post since's just a one-shot.

But if the idea is to build the series with WB in mind, then Burn the Witch will just be stuck in its older brother's shadow as it progresses. It's very easy to compare to Bleach from art alone, but the premise is nearly identical, with some bells and whistles. Given Kubo's fashion sense, I always expected him to go a little more outthere with fancy supermodels or something.

and yet...

Perhaps the idea is to do what Bleach was founded on, but iron out the rough edges. Can I truly be opposed to that, when....that's kinda what I did?

I dunno. At least Mashima, with his "shonen tropes 101" style of writing has at least NOT made his new series Fairy Tail in space, even though it kinda looks like Fairy Tail but in space.
But it's a fresh start for Kubo, and I do wonder where it all leads.

Thanks for reading all. And remember.

The heart

Friday, 4 August 2017

Bleach Analysis - There's Actually More?!

Well, as we approach the one year anniversary of Bleach's conclusion, I thought it's high time to sit down and digest all of the "post-canon" stuff.
The anime has not returned and I doubt it ever will, but novels and other supplementary materials have continued our story....thankfully not in the same way Boruto is dragging the corpse of Naruto on its bloated shoulders, but still.

This is all obtained from the Bleach subreddit, btw.

Can't Fear Your Own World
Is Hisagi Trunks now? Why is his hair blue?
I'll admit I have a slight disdain for this novel-way of storytelling, because even if it's "canon", not being in the manga itself makes it feel disconnected and kinda tacked on, but we'll keep an open mind.

Synopsis: A secret left behind by Tosen will lead Hisagi to a fight against a secret enemy and the discovery of the truth behind the world, the Spirit King, the noble families, Ginjou and the Arrancar.


Serialisation will commence every other week!! (referring to the Bleach app) Remaining mysteries will become clear…
Hisagi Shūhei, vice captain of squad 9 and editor-in-chief of the Seireitei communication, is the main character.
Rangiku: “Wait a minute!! Why is Shūhei the main character!!
Shūhei: "It’s inevitable isn’t it?!! Even I would like to use Bankai!!”
An assassination attempt aimed at the four great noble clans. An unknown Shinigami attacks the Quincy and the Arrancar that survived in Hueco Mundo. A rapidly growing, mysterious religious group in the Human World…The turmoil in each of the three realms of existence was rooted in the new head of the Tsunayashiro family, one of the four great noble clans. Apart from being a shinigami, Hisagi Shūhei approaches the case from a journalistic viewpoint. However, he does not yet know that he is trying to touch the fearful secrets of Soul Society itself…!!
Narita Ryohgo’s comment:

“Many scenes were based on directions I received from Mr. Kubo personally. I will do my best to be up to the task of extensively conveying the charm of Bleach even further!”

There ya go, Kubo had his hand in this. What's the cast?

Bleach Allstars (i.e. the important characters) and their general story lines:
Hisagi Shuhei (MC): How he will discover the truth and mysteries of Soul Society, while honoring the legacy of Tosen.
Kaname Tosen (flashbacks): How he fell into a path of vengeance
Sousuke Aizen (mostly flashbacks): How he learned of the original sin of Soul Society and was set on changing the world
Kugo Ginjou: How and why he became an enemy of Soul Society and how he will uncover of the intentions of the religious sect XCution
Tier Harribel: Finding out the secrets of the Arrancar, her imprisonment and Hueco Mundo, while trying to protect her kingdom
Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez: Helping Harribel and trying to get another fight, but not with Ichigo this time
Giselle Gewelle: Trying to get her (dead) comrades back from Squad 12 and exploring her relationship with Bambietta
Bambietta Basterbine: Helping Giselle and coming to terms with her own zombification and her fear of death

Shunsui Kyoraku: Guiding and helping Hisagi, while uncovering the secrets of his friend Ukitake and coming to terms with the deaths and tragedies that plagued his life.

Okay then, so Bambietta and Giselle are not dead(?), but if we have to deal with Ginjou again, this won't be fun.

Tokinada Tsunayashiro: The big bad. Head of the noble Tsunayashiro family and the ex-husband of Tosen's friend. Wants to rule all the realms.
Hikone: Protegee of Tokinada and candidate for the position of the Spirit King and a freak of nature not unlike Ichigo
Seinosuke Yamada: The older brother of Hanataro. Despite the loyalty to his little brother and the Gotei, he became a confidant of Tokinada's plot

Michibane Aura: A nun and the beautiful leader of an end-time suicide sect in the real world, called XCution. She is said to be able to perform miracles and likes to talk about the future. Her followers believe she is going to bring them to the promised land.

Dat's right, finally another noble house is named. And Hanataro's brother is involved?

Links to translation:
Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3:
Part 4:
Part 5:
Part 6:
Part 7.1:
Part 7.2:
Part 7.3:

Hisagi sketch, he's confronting Aizen...apparently?

Thankfully I don't have to waste two hours of my life reading through everything, as the thread OP lays out the skinny. Bold is a copy-paste, unbolded are my thoughts.
Yhwach's corpse is the new Soul King. Squad Zero put a lot of barriers and seals into it and transported him to the Soul Palace. It is heavily implied that something similar happened to the old Soul King.
Yhwach is not gone for good and still has an influence over the world. Of course no one knows what actually happened between him and Kazui, why it happened and what the consequences of that will be
God damn it, we can't even get rid of Bach.

The general population doesn't know that the Soul King they are protecting or worshiping is now Yhwach. They were told that Squad Zero successfully protected the Soul King and that he never died.
Huh? Why the hell not?

Shunsui and Ichibee initially planned to make Ichigo the next Soul King. They would have cut him up. Shunsui didn't like it much, Ichibee didn't care. He only trained Ichigo for that in the first place and honestly didn't expect him to win. He joked that the only downside would be that it would be a bit boring if Ichigo could not speak for all eternity. That's also what the soul tickets were there for.
So bald monk is a total asshole, got it. At least Shunsui had reservations. Poor Ichigo, his life being mapped out AGAIN. Also soul tickets are still a silly idea.

The reason he did not become the linchpin was, because Yhwach had decided to change his plans and absorb the Soul King after seeing Mimihagi out of fear that he could be devoured by his father. Ukitake's sacrifice and Yhwach's plans saved Ichigo.
Huh. So you mean to tell me in the midst of his arrogant gloating and near-torturing of Ichigo, Bach was afraid? [I refuse to call him Yhwach, it's not as catchy]

The history and origins of Soul Society are all based on lies.

The actions of Squad Zero regarding the truth and the Soul King will be judged in ten (the epilogue) or 100 (when Soul Society is going to have 100 days without night thanks to Ichibee) year

The ancestors of the five noble families committed an original sin regarding the Spirit King and it is their will that Squad Zero obeys to, not the Spirit King. It's one of the reasons why Aizen was so angry at the end of Deicide. Shunsui himself hates the ancestors and Ichibee.
whaaaaaat? So the higher order belongs to the Kuchikis, the Shihouins, and the Shibas, and so on?

Squad Zero actually died, but was revived with the same trick as Ichibee. The reason for this is that they are kinda fused through the Oken with the Soul Palace.
I'm glad Narita knows how to write like Kubo.

Nel rescued Harribel, who was transported alongside the rest of Yhwach's castle to the Royal Realm. She couldn't be rescued because she was in Yhwach's throne room.
cop-out is a cop-out. Kubo legit forgot about her in the Quincy BDSM dungeon.

Kira is still a zombie and the events of the 13th Blade story actually happened
fuck you

The relationship between Quincy and Shinigami will improve and enter a new age thanks to the death of both kings.
Little too late for that, wouldn't you say? "Hey sorry for the genocide, can we be friends now?". Also there's what like, 6 Quincies left compared to the 1000+ Shinigami? Then again this is Soul Society, and they didn't see the Vandenreich purge HM under their damn noses.

Lille survived the fight against Kira and the destruction of the Seretei and caused trouble for several days. Eventually the birds were removed from the Seretei. It's unknown what that means for him and what his ultimate status is.
>insane chicken god SURVIVED
fuck YOU

Orihime's power has three limits: She can't heal someone who had mortal wounds for a long time, though the exact time frame is unknown, at least the duration of a night, was no problem for her. She can't revive someone whose body and Reiatsu are gone. And of course her mental will and stamina will affect how strong her healing powers are.
The last part you can infer from the manga itself, but if Orihime got proper development, we could've really had interesting twists and turns with her powers.

Kensei and Rose were actually dead. Mayuri's science is just that good. Though it took almost six months to revert these two back.
No, plotkai is just that good.

C46 has only few members left and did many reforms. Their leader is Nayura (from the Kira short story). Half of them were killed by Shaz Domino and many of the survivors resigned.
Can't we just abolish the bloody system after all it's done? At least make it an odd number!

There is actually a council of nobles that is above C46
I look forward to when they casually order a genocide of every poor individual in Rukongai.

Tosen knew the truth behind Soul Society, it's why he sided with Aizen in the first place
It seems he and Gin both had the problem of not making their motives clearer to more people. Sucks too, because my opinion of Tousen has softened in the past few years. 

Komamura is still a wolf
I'm still mad.

The Tsunayashiro family is the fourth member of the five grand noble families

Tosen's friend is called Kakyou. Her husband Tokinada was a minor member of the Tsunayashiro family and thus not punished by the law for his crime
Finally another noble house revealed! And it builds on Tousen's backstory, so that's neat.

Ginjou is an acquaintance of the Shiba family. He, Tsukishima and Giriko are living there as freeloaders.
This is where you're starting to make me mad, Narita. I hope Ganju and Kukaku punched his lights out for mentally breaking their cousin. Was Giriko sitting home eating chips while Ginjou and Tsukishima got to be important in the finale?

They kept their clothes and weapons because of their ability to manipulate souls.
Again, cop-out, but it's a minor detail.

Ginjou was innocent. A Shinigami was sent to assassinate him. That Shinigami killed all of Ginjou's friends and Ginjou killed him in a fit of rage. Finding out about that plus the truth behind the Shinigami badge led to him rebelling. He went to the Seretei during the final arc in order to know the truth. But thanks to the Kamikake Ukitake was dead and could not speak. Ginjou still doesn't know why someone would want to assassinate him. It's implied the order came from high above. Ukitake is a major suspect and Ginjou believes it was him, but so far there is no confirmation.
As much as I hate retroactively making Ginjou the good guy, fine. But this makes his "lol let's attack uryu for lulz" even more stupid. He and Ichigo could've had this cool alliance, both substitutes and suspected by the Soul Society.....if only the arc had a complete overhaul.

Hanatora's brother Seinosuke is alive. He is medical attendant for the Great noble families

Shino (the female Shinigami substitute and partner of Yuki, that Ichigo saved in the beginning of the final arc) is the little sister/cousin of Ikkaku. Her full name is Shino Madarame. Her Zanpakto is a Naginata
Shino and Ikkaku lost their parents at a young age in the Rukongai. Because they were shifted from one family member to another, they actually don't know whether they are brother and sister or cousins. Ikkaku eventually decided to become a Shinigami and Shino followed him. He was immediately accepted into Squad 11. Shino had to go to the academy first until she was accepted into Squad 13. It's unknown how Yumichika fits into this.
Shiiiiit, why didn't Kubo give her a last name in the manga? This is actually pretty interesting, too bad she and Ryu disappeared after the first attack. It sucks even more because in my own story (plug plug) I already gave her a different name, so I can't even use this angle. Shoot.

Yukio became the boss of his company after six months and thanks to his experience with Ichigo in the final two arcs, he decided to use it to help humanity and make a better world. Yukio's company is also evolving into a feeding ground to gather Fullbringer from all over the world, starting with Riruka and Jackie.
please no more fullbringers, i beg you.

Rudborrn Chelute is alive.
how in the fuck? 

He used to serve under Barragan, but is content with both Aizen's and Harribel's rule because they brought order and rules into Hueco Mundo. He feels indebted to them for that reason. He also has the big dream of creating a pan-Arrancar nation that governs all of Hueco Mundo. The sight of Grimmjow, Nel and Harribel working together left him rather emotional and made his heart cry in joy.
Loly and Menoly were degraded to become part of the Exequias. The three worked together with Orihime and co. probably and defeated the majority of the Jagdarmee, who either used guerilla tactics or suicide attacks.
During Harribel's absence the hidden Vasto Lorde came to the surface and tried to become the new ruler. Rudbonn did not participate in the throne games, but repeatedly asked Grimmjow to help maintain order. He refused to fight small fry, as he himself put it in.
Once Harribel and Grimmjow returned after the war was over, the Vasto Lorder went back to their own colonies, disappointed.
Interesting. Kinda wish we had a flashback for this.

Grimmjow became a better person. All of Hueco Mundo changed for the better actually.
How better can Hueco Mundo even be, though? Daz was the one that brought this point up first actually, that we're supposed to reconcile the fact that Arrancar have individual temperments and feelings....but they're still composed of thousands+ souls. You can't be "at peace" with them if they technically should be purified for the greater good. It's an ethical dilemma I wish Kubo incorporated.

Liltotto, Giselle and Bambietta are alive.
Bambietta just wants Giselle's blood. Nothing perverted, probably. The reason for Bambietta's fragmented speech is that her injuries are not quite healed. Giselle could use her blood to do that, but thinks Bambietta is cuter that way and delays the healing process. She can think clearly actually, but because of her injuries (most likely because Giselle bashed her head), her ability to think has been degraded.
That....just makes me feel sorrier for Bambietta.

They were rescued by Haschwalth's aide under Haschwalth's orders. Right after acquiring the Almighty, Haschwalth decides to order the evacuation and treatment of every Quincy outside the Schutzstaffel. This explains why Giselle's and Liltotto's bodies were not seen during Yhwach's fight with Ichigo and Orihime. 
Again, cop-out, but fine. Hey can we have Ryunnsuke date the aide, so we can have /ss/ with an SS?
.....sorry I wanted to use that joke.

Many Quincy were saved by Haschwalth's aide. It's actually quite possible that some Sternritter are among them, like Bazz-B and BG9.
as long as it's not Gremmy. 

Whatever Haschwalth saw in the future changed him. He only described it as cruel. He willingly decided play both sides in order to balance the odds. He knew that Yhwach would sacrifice him, but Haschwalth saw it as a fitting punishment and sacrifice for his behavior. He knew that this would be his fate, but he went to the battlefield anyway. He wanted to fight Uryuu and see what drives him, for when it comes to Uryuu, Haschwalth is shaken with emotion.
Haschwalth's aide is stronger than some of the Sternritter, but does not posses a Schrift, because she only wants to serve Haschwalth, but not Yhwach. She is the strongest archer within the Wandenreich. It seems that she is now ruling over the Wandenreich. 
Wait.....Blondie's alive too?
Also I really wish this aide had a name, so the notion of someone low in the command chain being uber would be more valid.

Bambietta is still a zombie. She was never brainwashed or mind-controlled. Zombie Bambietta is the real Bambietta's personality. Behind her though facade is simply a meek and scarred little girl. Her encounter with Komamura deeply traumatized and she suffers from PTSD, so much that she forgets that she is already dead.
Christ in heaven, is Bambi the ultimate woobie?

It's possible that Giselle is highly intelligent and could rival Mayuri. It's just that she is too lazy to actually bother using much strategy. She is also a social expert, able to easily read other people and know what buttons she has to push in order to provoke them (or in Bambietta's case to make her break down and cry)
Damn. Imagine if she and Mayuri defected from their groups and tried to beat everyone. I'd think with prep time, they'd win.

The Glutton has more abilities. Liltotto can recover Reiryoku with her ability and like Aaroniero, she can actually use the abilities of the things she consumed. She can use the poison of Loly after she consumed part of her body. She combines Loly's poison with Licht Regen to create a rain of poison, which is just awesome. She also can use Pepe's Love and considered it using against Yhwach, but thought it would be useless.
Apparently how things taste depend on what Liltotto thinks of their personalities. At the very least there seems to be a connection between taste and personality. Pepe tasted disgusting. Ruddbon appeared for Liltotto as more tasty than the tasteless Calaveras. Loly tasted quite good and spicy.
"Pepe tasted disgusting". Well, Liltotto confirmed as normie.

Giselle actually got nicer. Just a little bit. She doesn't hurt Bambietta anymore. Though psychological domination is still fine for her. Liltotto outright refers her as an S-type. But Giselle truly doesn't understand why Liltotto would describe her as a sadist.
"Yeah, why am I a sadist, Lily? I only beat up Bambi and tease her with my blood, that she needs to survive?"

Mayuri collected the dead bodies of several Sternritter. Confirmed so far are Meninas, Candice and NaNaNa.
noooo not Meninas and Candice!

Byakuya is not very popular with the general population. None of the current great nobles are like. Except Yoruichi. Everyone likes Yoruichi. The higher nobles in general are not very popular. Exceptions like the Omaedas exist.
Holy cow, this is basically describing most of the folks here at Applied Logic. 

Mayuri's Zanpakto Sex change device is canon.
uhhh....then what's canon, the Zabimaru we see in the manga or the ape-snake chain combo?

Omaeda is a ladies man. Hisagi and Renji not so much.
The thought of Omaeda making girls drop their panties and Hisagi and Renji being beta losers has brightened my day considerably.

The reason for the fall of the Shiba family lies in the distant past. The Kaien and Isshin incidents were just the last straws.
I wish Kukaku had more of a role in the manga...

The noble families have an authority that is independent of Squad Zero and lies above them (even the Shiba retain that, as seen when Squad Zero had to ask for their permission to use the canon).
The Tsunayashiro family is the most important of the noble families.
Okay to the first point, why? Why is this nobility still a damn thing when you see powerful Shinigami like Yamamoto and Unohana that don't hail from a major house? Hierachy in the Shinigami should be tied to natural power, not the namesake....but then again, it IS modeled after ancient Japan...
To the second....I guess in a five star cross, you need a point, eh?

Mashiro and the girl with the glasses from the 12th division (the one who asked about the previous Nemus) are sisters.\

Mayuri has reanimated the dead Sternritter. Outside of the three that were already mentioned, these are the Sternritter, whose bodies Mayuri could have possibly collected: Haschwalth, Bazz-B (if dead), BG9 (if dead), Cang Du, Askin, 
i guess that's
Mayuri I hope you die in the most painful way imaginable.

The Negar ruins (the place Orihime met up with Chad and the Arrancar between the invasions) are actually a man-made stone temple built in ancient times. It's unknown what happened to the ancient civilization that built the temple or who the god of Hueco Mundo was (it's most likely not Barragan though).
Worldbuilding? In my Bleach? It's more likely than you think! ....but how can it be man-made if Hueco Mundo is occupied by spirits?

Soul Society is a fake world, a charade built upon lies, by the ancestors of the five noble families.
The Soul King was always trapped and deprived of his power since the very beginning
Holy shit this could've been an awesome twist if it was worked into the manga properly. Although remember, according to our local chronicler Rukia, Soul Society is a million years old.

It's made more and more ambiguous if Yhwach is truly dead and if the Soul King before him was actually alive. Urahara and Aizen knew about that. Yoruichi did not.
I have a feeling the theory of Urahara being the true big bad lead to this.

Many people from the real world experience a crisis of faith once they realize that Soul Society isn't exactly paradise.
Sorry Osama, those 72 virgins are just old Japanese men.

Tosen met Aizen for the first time shortly after Kakyou's funeral. He saved Tosen from the beatdown of Tokinada's guards.
This really could've helped in developing Aizen, Kubo.

Now this was all the reveals for this novel. Now we switch to the story itself. I hope you've got popcorn, because this is long. Again I'm skimming through the OP's points.

Yhwach is currently being prepared for the linchpin ritual by Shunsui and Ichibee. Grimmjow, Nel and Harribel witness this. Harribel is disgusted and agrees with Aizen on that matter. They leave.
After Oetsu woke up, he found out that someone stole a sword from him. That sword is called Ikomikidomoe. The sword is usually hidden under an ocean. But that evaporated when Ichigo got his new Zanpakto. The thief was able to use several different abilities, which should be impossible. Oetsu thus concludes that the thief was from the great noble families. The sword is dangerous.
I'm sorry, but what the shit does this even mean? Where is there an ocean in Soul Society?

Several days after Yhwach's defeat Aizen is imprisoned back into Muken. There is a new chair. He wants to speak with Ichigo, but Shunsui and Urahara did not let him under suspicious pretense. Shunsui in general was rather adamant about Aizen not talking much and being sent to Muken as quickly as possible. Hisagi brought up Tosen and he and Aizen talked about the true nature of Tosen, why he killed him and the original sin of Soul Society. Shunsui eventually ended the conversation and sent him back.
Uh oh is our boy Aizen about to blow away the entire Soul Society for the fourth time?

Six months later and Tokinada just woke up from a dream. It was his first encounter with Tosen right after the funeral of his wife. He fondly remembers sending him into despair and crushing his hope (and a few bones). He notices that the members of his family were assassinated by members of the Punishiment Squad, but the assassins were all defeated by Hikone and made motionless, but still alive. He reveals that he hired them in order to fabricate him becoming the next head. He tortures the assassins for some time until he kills them. Afterwards he prepares to make himself the new head and Hikone the new Spirit King
For a recap, Tokinada is our Aizen/Ginjou/Bach in training. 

Hisagi visits the Shiba estate for an interview with Kukaku. He wants to give a through and objective as possible report on the events of the war. Kukkaku says she wasn't much involved and he should speak to Ganju, but he is useless. He ends up drinking and talking with Ginjou, revealing part of his past.
It's still surreal that flippin' Hisagi is the one to launch these plot points in motion.

Keigo and Mizuiro are attacked by a crab Hollow. They are saved by Yuki and Shino (though Mizuiro was more important for the defeat). Urahara's merchandise actually works. The four talk. Muzuiro somehow knows about the Royal Realm. They mention a religious sect.
Yukio is visited by the leader of the religious cult. The woman, Michibane Aura, was a main benefactor for Yukio's company. She wants him to join. He refuses. She leaves but gives him a calling card "Religious sect: XCution".
Mizuiro continues to be mysterious - how in the living fuck does he know about the Royal Realm? - and XCution is apparently tied to a cult?

Rudborrn is watching over Hueco Mundo. He is accompanied by Loly and Menoly. They talk about Aizen and that they have to maintain order in Hueco Mundo. They are attacked by Giselle's group. They are planing on raising an army in order to invade the 12th division barracks and retrieve the bodies of their comrades in order to resurrect them. Except for NaNaNa. Grimmjow, Harribel and Nel join the fight, but it is interrupted when Hikone appears. Tokinada wants to rule over Hueco Mundo and beat all the Arrancar, who do not comply into submission.
Hikone is a freak of nature. His Reiatsu is compared to a Vizards, but also to Ayon and a Sternritter. He releases the stolen Zanpakto Ikomikidomoe with the phrase "Orbit the stars".
Say here's an idea - block Hueco Mundo so you don't have people keep invading it! How hard would it be to have Ichibe or whoever make a seal so Shinigami asshats like Tokinada and Quincy renegades don't come crawling through?

Shunsui is instructing Hisagi on his interview with Tokinada. He intends to fully support and help him with that task. Hisagi asks him about the Ginjou incident. Shunsui reveals that while he knows not much, he knows that Ukitake was involved to some degree and at the very least guilty of just standing by. Shunsui wants to investigate things further, both in order to clear Ginjou's name and find the real culprit and also in order to come better to terms with Ukitake's passing. Hisagi leaves in order to interview Yumichika and Ikkaku about Pernida and what is going on with the Soul King's arms. Since Mayuri is too busy with mad science, Hisagi later interviews Hanataro about the same topic, but once he learns about the occupation of his brother, asks for an interview with Hanataro's brother.
At the same time Tokinada is having a meeting with Shunsui. Tokianda confesses for all his crimes, both with joyful, sadistic pride and hatred. But thanks to his position he is untouchable. He also recounts how he once was sent to Maggot's nest for his crimes, but pardoned because of his family name. Kyoraku apologizes to Tokinada because he believed that Tokianada was behind Rukia's execution, since his family opposed Byakuya's marriage and Rukia's adoption. Tokinda reveals that he wants to make a proposition to the Kuichiki family, to Yoruichi and Hueco Mundo "in order to maintain balance between the two worlds.". Tokinada then mocked Ukitake's death. Shunsui swallowed his anger and asked him about Ginjou. Tokinada is of the opinion that Ukitake orchestrated the Fullbring arc in order engineer Ichigo's heroism. He then reveals that thinks the entire world is nothing but fake. He then mocks Shunsui over the death of Nanao's mother.
Why would he behind it, Shunsui? Aizen admitted to setting up the whole thing! But in case you need more proof Tokinada is unapologetically the biggest cunt in Bleach, where you go. And I don't give out that title so easily.

Hisagi tries to interview Seinousuke, but is interrupted by the arrival of a wounded Hikone. The Espada and Sternritter managed to beat him (though Rudborrn, Loly and Menoly were severly injured) after a hard fight. The Sternritter found refugee in the Negar Ruins. They all wonder what Hikone is and why he can use the abilities of all races. Hisagi and Hanataro try to help Hikone's wounds, but are told by Seinousuke and Hikone that everything is fine. Hikone is truly grateful for their concern though. Seinosuke warns Hanataro again that he should better not stay in Soul Society for the next few days,
Hisagi decides to interview Urahara and ask for the truth
Tokinada is meeting with Yoruichi and Byakuya. He wants to make the Shibas nobles again as gratitude for Ichigo saving everyone from Yhwach. Either Ichigo or one of his sisters should be heads. He also reveals that he wants to relieve control of Soul Society from the Gotei and the Soul King to the noble families. He also believes that Sqaud Zero and the Gotei are incompetent. Byakuya and Yoruichi have problems with that obviously. Tokinada mocks Byakuya over Hisana and Rukia's execution.
Again, supreme cunt.

So now I'm going to quote what the OP drew as conclusions.

Implications: These are things that have not outright been stated, but strongly implied. This contains also things that can be pieces together with knowledge from the manga. So, there is the possibility, these end up wrong:
  • It's implied that Hanataro and Ikkaku are minor nobles. Hanataro is familiar enough with the customs of the nobles and lives in family estate and Ikkaku is from a family that is big enough that he can't be sure whether Shino is his sister or cousin.
  • Ichibee and possibly Oetsu seem to be the only ones in Squad Zero who know the truth behind the Soul King
  • Shunsui hates the ancestors of the noble families and Ichibee, both because of their attitude and because they in one way or another are responsible not only for more than 1000 years of bloodshed, but also for all the tragedies and deaths in Shunsui's life.
  • Yhwach's body parts may have been separated and gained sentience
  • There are four other people who knew about the plan of making Ichigo the Soul King: Isshin, Urahara, Old Man Zangetsu and Yhwach. Isshin and Urahara talked about how restoring Ichigo's power in the Fullbring arc may be equal to robbing him of his future. Even Urahara, who had no problem with hiding the Hogyoku inside Rukia and draining her of her power or sending Ichigo and Yoruichi into a suicide mission to buy time, was very hesitant to restore Ichigo's power for this very reason. Ichigo becoming the Soul King was what they probably meant. Isshin was also more than unhappy that Ichigo would be trained by Squad Zero, who as revealed only trained him as a back-up Soul King. Old Man Zangetsu, for whom Ichigo's safety was the most important thing, admitted that he originally planned to kill Ichigo in order to protect him from what will come, if he continues the path of the Shinigami. What else could be so horrifying that OMZ considers killing Ichigo protecting him? And finally, before Yhwach had to change plans and become the Soul King, he stated that he wants to kill Ichigo, because otherwise a much more horrible fate will await him. Just to put it into perspective: Yhwach is extremely afraid of death. And yet he believes becoming the lynchpin is so much worse that he considers killing Ichigo an act of mercy.
  • Part of the reason Yhwach hated Ichibee so much is for what he did to his father and part of Yhwach's motivation for the final arc was to save his father from a fate worse than death.
  • The Soul King we saw, is a corpse, but he and Yhwach can act beyond death.
  • Yoruichi doesn't have her Zanpakto anymore. Shinigami who actually retire have to give up her Zanpakto. Yoruichi abandoned all her positions and did not have her Zanpakto with her, when she rescued Urahara. Her Zanpkato was most likely confiscated. Since she is still in exile, technically at least, she did not get her Zanpakto back.
  • Ryuken may have a Schrift and Vollständig in order to use Sklaverei
  • Giselle may not be mtf trans, but rather an actual hermaphrodite.
  • The cousin of Ichigo Tsukishima posed as and the funeral of a grandfather Rin where they met for the first time, may actually have been Uryuu and the funeral of Soken.
  • It seems that Tokinada is so sadistic because he believes he can do what he wants, since nothing is real to begin with. He seems to enjoy and hate his position and the whole farce at the same time.
  • The Soul King is a Quincy, or rather the Quincy are whatever the Soul King is. Related to this is something else. why Aizen was not made into the linchpin. I've seen this several times, the question why they don't make Aizen into the linchpin instead of using Ichigo, which is why I'm going to debunk that one. There are three reasons for this:
  1. Aizen would not be okay with this. Being in Muken is one thing, but becoming the linchpin, losing all his power and body parts, having to serve a flawed system for all eternity just to uphold a charade and not even being able to speak, another. He would resist that with all his might.
  2. The linchpin is implied to be a corpse. Ichibee wanted to kill Ichigo. Aizen is immortal, kinda hard to kill.
  3. Aizen is not a Quincy. All Soul King candidates have two things in common: An absurd amount of Reiatsu and being at least part Quincy. Aizen only has one of the two criteria. Yhwach is a pure Quincy. Ichigo and Hikone are at least part Quincy. And while the Soul King is so far unknown, but the only confirmed parts of him are Quincy.
So yeah. It's up to you, the reader, if you want to agree or not on the points. However, we're not done yet!

Here is a list of other novels for the series.
  • Letters From The Other Side - A novelization of the earlier Bleach chapters (not canon):
  • The Honey Dish Rhapsody - A slice-of-life side story set between the week of Aizen's betrayel and Ichigo and co returning to the human world. It shows the Shinigami coming to terms with the events and recovering, while they get to know Ichigo and his friends better - especially Rangiku and Orihime (unknown canoncity) : (I'd advise copying it into Word or something because the background makes it really hard to read.)
  • Two Lonely Souls’ Wild Drunken Night & Nestle To Night - The first story is Kira and Rangiku bonding over Gin and the second story is about the survival and ascension of Harribel as Queen of Hueco Mundo (canon): (It's near the beginning and bottom of the page respectively
  • not be, but be - Ulquiorra's backstory (canon) :
  • Spirits Are Forever With You I and II - The epic tale, set during the timeskip, of the Zaraki Kenpachi confronting Azashiro, the legendary eight Kenpachi and Cien Granz, a clone of the two Granz brothers come to life. But more importantly, it is the heartwarming story of the lost Arrancar nurse Rokka and the hero we need, but do not deserve -Don Kanonji - and his unwilling sidekick Uryuu Ishida (roughly canon, the broad story was made canon in Can't fear your own world, but smaller details may contradict it):
  • The Death Save The Strawberry - A story that tells what happened with the Shinigami during the time skip and how they gathered all the Reiatsu for the restoration of Ichigo's power (unknown canoncity, though some things like Chad learning how to box were foreshadowing)
  • BEGINNING OF THE REVIVE OF TOMORROW - During the height of the blood war the newly reanimated Kira has to fight the artificial Sternritter Shaz Domino within the chambers of C46 (canon):
  • WE DO knot ALWAYS LOVE YOU - Rukia's wedding and what happened to the Shinigami three years after the war (possibly canon):
We are also getting a live-action movie in 2018, next August even. IIRC that was the announcement in the final Shonen Jump issue that had Bleach.

And FINALLY, we need to clear up misconceptions about the ending.

The real reason for the abrupt ending of Bleach: illness and injuries. Read here the heartwarming story of the ill boy (and may he rest in peace):
And here an interview with the author of Assassin Classroom that further elaborates on the physical and mental strain of being a mangaka :
I've seen a few assumptions springing out of these texts, so I'm going to debunk them right away:
  1. Kubo did not lose any important scripts. He was talking about a time before he even pitched his pilot. Given the countless iterations between the pilot and the actual first chapter and how many things were changed before and through the SS arc, these lost scripts would have been most likely insignificant anyway.
  2. Kubo's illness did not affect the ending itself. The ending, the children of Rukia and Ichigo meeting in the epilogue was what Kubo had planned since a long time. I'm speaking strictly of the epilogue, the last two chapters, here. The chapters before may or may not have been affected.
  3. The ending did not affect the main pairings. Orihime was always meant to be the love-interest, while Rukia was always a platonic partner for Ichigo.
So I suppose I'm willing to cut Kubo some slack. I'm sure there will always be a part of him that wanted the series to go a different way, at least in the final arc, but things turned to utter shit. But if he has no regrets about the ending, then....well, that's peace of mind he can have.

Bleach has brought us all a lot of laughter, joy, anger, disappointment, and cynicism, but we can't say it's all done and finished. These novels, the movie, the hit mobile game, and the myriad of fans writing for made its mark for many.

And while we're on the subject of fanfiction, feel free to check out my own Bleach fanfic, SWA, which started in 2015 to fix a lot of its problems (coughOrihimecough), and develop characters differently. I don't follow many of the final arc's plot revelations.
and its sequel, if it tickles your fancy so.

Anyways with my shameless plugging out of the way, what do you think of these post-canon sources?

Sunday, 16 October 2016

AfB: Where Are They Now

Where Are They Now

Bleach ended some time ago, and I’m only now writing an article about it. You see, I scoured every atom of the last chapter for the googolplexianth-level secrets Kubo embedded in the last chapter. And I have divined the fates of every character. Behold!

KENPACHI: Through no effort or training, has unleashed a level of kai beyond bankai that only he can achieve called Kenpakai; incidentally, if any other shinigami could ever achieve Kenpakai, his would still be the strongest. Also, the lines on his face have become so chiseled that his head is now a fleshy axe, because his axe-head is stronger than anyone’s.

Yachiru: Now forms the hilt of the axe that constitutes the level of kai above Kenpakai, Gigakenpakai, wherein Kenpachi sprouts no fewer than three particularly nasty-looking axes out of his neck-stump and ALSO wields an axe as big as the universe in one hand and a normal-sized axe with Yachiru as the hilt in the other hand. You can rest assured that his Gigakenpakai is stronger than anyone’s hypothetical Gigakenpakai, and even stronger than any other shinigami’s hypothetical Supergigakenpakai, that’s how strong it is.

Ikkaku: Winner of the All-Soul-Society Raepface Showdown for three years in a row, his next trick is to hone it to perfection so that he can finally scare off the human girl who wants him so bad, unaware that it will only endear him to her even more.

Yumichika: Is using his sword’s power to drain Kenpachi’s strength nonstop so he can enjoy his fights again, but it’ll never really make a dent because Kenpachi is always teh strongste always and everyday.

Kyouraku: As Supreme Commander Chief Captain Man of the Gotei 13, he has made it his policy to suspend the pretense of engaging Hollows in battle, and has instead mobilized the superspiritual army corps to the task of producing a tea that he can pour directly into his brain through his gaping eye-wound for a more visceral kind of refreshment. However, he has yet to summon the energy to rise up from his forty-week-and-counting stupor dozing in the middle of the street to sign the order.

Nanao: On a mission to retrieve the god-sword entrusted to her family now that it’s lost inside one of Gerard’s macroscopic cells (specifically a skin cell on his right gonad, otherwise known as the Right Gonad of the Soul King) as he orbits soul-Alpha Centauri. This is a mission fraught with tension, as any accidental slaying of Gerard with the god-sword could easily make him so huge that Kubo would be forced to give him a personality.

Shinji: Spends every waking moment crossing his fingers for the next big catastrophic threat to the existence of all of reality so that he can show off his bankai.

Hinamori: Has arranged a delicate truce deal whereby Aizen gets to walk free in Soul Society so long as she’s allowed to stab him the exact same way he stabbed her every Thursday.

Soi Fong: After intense training, she has learned to coat her missiles with poison, so now when an enemy is hit by a missile on the same spot twice, they’re as good as done for.

Omaeda: Has become the first man in history to trigger an aneurysm by picking his nose too hard.

Rose: Sells out concerts all over the Rukongai, and has pioneered a Live Aid for the really bad districts where everybody soul-murders everybody. Unfortunately, the Seireitei edition of We Are the World flopped hard when Aizen took too much inspiration from it and hatched a plan to literally become the world before anybody else could.

Kira: Having been introduced to genki pills by Hanatarou, he makes due playing his chest-bars like a xylophone during his squad’s concerts. He’s also taken to holstering his crook-sword on those bars because he thinks it looks very intimidating and cool. The crisis that’s got him depressed at the moment is a home infestation of little malevolent owl-storks.

Byakuya: Shedding a very internal tear after Rukia’s proved she’s all grown up and ascended to the title of captain, he has dedicated most of his time to combing his hair so that he can be the new Hisana whenever he looks in the mirror. He now looks up to Rukia since he’s only died once, while her bankai can make her continuously “dead,” the most envious state to be in.

Renji: Keeps coming up with new names for his bankai. The grand baboon snake’s head is now a Chappy, to please Rukia. Is also still training to be able to take Aizen in a fight, otherwise known as Soul Society’s most hysterical unintentional comedy act. Nothing makes Rukia want to scratch Renji behind the ears quite like watching him try his best at something.

Iba: His struggle for relevance very much mirrors the Gotei 13’s; he has taken to wearing his former captain’s head-bucket, only with shades on the outside, in a bid to be the “mysterious” one. Good luck trying to get him to reveal what his sword does, because not even Kubo knows.

Lisa: Is quietly agitating to destigmatize reading ero-manga during work hours. Hitsugaya isn’t going to fictionally yank Ichigo’s doodle without her help, after all.

Kensei: Is currently paying Aizen regular visits to see if he can’t poke eyeholes into his mask so he can actually see.

Couldn’t be handier for when you want to be fed six wafers at a time, though.

Hisagi: Gets feverish and anxious whenever he sees a bug-head, what with the flashbacks of Tousen.

Mashiro: Still looks like this:

She and Kensei are still trying to train Hisagi to bankai using some tough love, but somehow fracturing and severing his limbs hasn’t really helped.

Hitsugaya: Used his bankai until its time limit ran out once again and now he looks like Strom Thurmond at the end of his life, only with a captain’s robe (fitted with buttons so it can be left unbuttoned), skinny jeans, and a limited-edition ice dragon belt. As for what got him to run out the clock on his bankai again, let’s just say Aizen can thermometers sweat a little when he’s out fucking the sun.

Rangiku: Is giving Halibel tips on how to deal with the back pain she knows all too well while she remains in chains indefinitely.

Mayuri: His bankai has convinced many hardline conservatives all across Soul Society that sometimes, abortion can be okay.

Nemu: Is now a revolting, monstrous caterpillar with the head of a cute little girl. All of her nerves are on the outside, otherwise she might feel a moment’s not-pain, which is unacceptable. Sees nothing wrong with being Mayuri’s human footstool/mode of transportation. It’s very heartwarming.

Rukia: Has upgraded her bankai so that it can now freeze the speed of light (among other abstract concepts in physics), allowing her to relativistically travel back in time during any fight. Thus she is Soul Society’s secret weapon against Tsukishima, who, as of last Monday, is the doting father and birth-mother of everyone in all of history.

Isane: Is now making sure that the medic squad never does any administers any of their healing arts on the battlefield, as their job, modeling their new policy to “come home safe” after the modern American police force.

Tsukishima: Not to be outdone by Aizen, he’s inserted himself into the history of the moon so that all of those craters were caused by a crotch-pounding that would wake the neighbors for sure.

Ginjou: Has opened a ramen shop where, for no reason whatsoever, the menu is a many-layered labyrinth of lies. He also tells customers that he has information about their perhaps-secretly-seedy fathers, which is actually always true since now their fathers are all Tsukishima. Tsukishima played the ultimate prank by making it true, unbeknownst to Ginjou, who’s only vaguely aware that he himself has a father since until recently he assumed that he’d spontaneously generated from a bowl of ramen.

Giriko: Having done nothing during the big war when his HATED FULLBRING would have been massively helpful, he has taken to training so he can protect his new home, the afterlife, for real this time. Going back down to Earth would mean having to live with his wife, you see.

Riruka: Died in a tragic donut accident when a baker accidentally shoved her head in the oven and baked a donut to form around her neck to strangle her. Then the gates of Hell appeared to swallow her into the secret, worst ring reserved for the truly execrable, a torturous realm of pure white and black, the sensation of which is not unlike being tickled by Kubo’s ink brush from above. Hope she likes being forced to eternally find new ways to compliment Hitler’s sole testicle as he blushes in embarrassment.

Asshole Beret: His Silicon Valley startup promising to marry programming with supernatural spirit particles so that users could experience, like, spirituality and stuff, never got off the ground despite setting a Kickstarter goal of $10.50. Is currently trying to claim he invented the internet, when everyone knows Tsukishima did.

Jackie: A vocal activist for allowing boots in mud wrestling contests for reasons she consistently fails to elucidate, she has nonetheless won a seat in the Diet on her single-issue platform, with a very real shot, some say, at securing the coveted position of National Boot Fashionista. All hail!

Shishigawara: Is using Jackpot Knuckle to win massive amounts of cash, raising the question as to why he didn’t before. However, he is even more loyal to Tsukishima now that he is his father. And also his older brother. And also 10 of his cousins. It’s all just evidence that Tsukishima has a soft spot for the lad.

Hachi:  Is taking lessons from Giriko on how best to pose as a servile butler figure. Has also moved to a gigai that’s 100% muscle but somehow also lean.

Love: Unknown. Last anyone saw of him, Sternritter #, The Pound, embedded largish hammers made of snakes made of diamond into his cranium and into each one of his internal organs, but it’s any guess whether he survived.

Hiyori: Is still grumbling about the occasional pains and pangs her sliced-in-half-by-Gin waist scar gives her. She needs to visit Urahara’s shop every month for a cream if she doesn’t want the lower half of her body to randomly pop off at the most embarrassing junctures.

Talk about a botched yearbook photo
To this day, she remains unaware that Gin had simply been worried she thought her ass looked too big.


Grimmjow: Is now the “king” of an unrecognized micronation on an island in the Arctic circle (the flag is a black Hollow hole on a tasteful chartreuse background). His life consists mostly of unleashing his Resurrecion to look badass while swiping Hollow-salmon from the beautiful spring waters, and waiting for new arrancar nakama to come form a new merry band. Yes, it’s all coming together.

Urahara: Why didn’t Aizen abduct Urahara instead of Orihime? Doesn’t make sense. The dude has a bankai that can repair anything AND actually made the damn Hougyoku to begin with. Anyway, he’s currently hiding his dozen remaining Hougyokus inside of Kenpachi, but he is very, very forte and tsuyoi and mightyful so it’s not even making his Ultragigakenpakai a micron smaller.

Yoruichi: Has feline AIDS, but it’s okay because she’s careful.

Tessai: Also has feline AIDS.

Ururu and Jinta: Rotting in a barge out to sea.

Kon: Has joined Nanao on her intergalactic voyage, with the eventually aim of taking over Gerard’s body, and then playing billiards with the solar system.

Don Kan’onji: Now produces a good 60% of the seemingly 5 bajillion “ghost hunter” shows on cable. Oh my god, this room is COLDER THAN THAT OTHER ROOM!! RUUUUNNNN!!!!! For the time being, the thought of using actual ghosts for any of these shows continues to elude him.

Ikumi: Is now Ichigo’s trauma counselor. Her counseling makes use of elbow jabs and haymakers to “release Ichigo’s chakras for spiritual healing.”

Ichigo’s sisters: Ichigo opted for a normal life. Karin and Yuzu are now fighting evil by night as Vasto Lorde-zanpakuto spirit-catfox-Bach’s other half-Bounts. They are vastly overpowered for the low level Hollows that haunt Karakura and end up vaporizing whole neighborhoods, but Soul Society’s economy is now geared towards making replacement Karakuras anyway, and Yuzu and Karin can see the dead so it doesn’t matter.

Isshin: No longer the father of Casa Kurosaki, but still comes to kick Ichigo out of bed in the morning. However, he has to compete with that one Arrancar that Ichigo wanted off his bed for the coveted right to kick Ichigo out of it.

All of Ichigo’s tertiary-character schoolmates: Spend their every waking moment thinking of how best to serve the whims of everyone’s friend, Tsukishima, with whom they are totally equal as there is no power imbalance whatsoever, now mind as he likes to extract his daily monetary tribute from their asscheeks as they prostrate themselves with their rumps in the air. Are taking servility lessons from Hachi.

Squad Zero: Currently set to the task of supplying the Soul King with arms and legs, and lungs with which to speak, and a brain with which to think and perceive. I believe it was Niccolo Machiavelli who wrote in his opus, The Prince, that an effective ruler must make a point of possessing a brain. Ichibei tried to dye the Soul King in black to make him a “black ant” so that he would sprout 8 arms, but in doing so he robbed him of his name, which… wait, never mind. He never had one to begin with!

Pernidas: Has rejoined the Soul King; disappointingly, it was as his head.

Yuki Ryuunosuke: Is now an important character, we swear, only it’s so offscreen it’s off-series. Look forward to his starring spinoff, MOLD REMOVER.

Chad: Now a world-famous pro boxer. This has made the many montages/scenes where he trains his powers even more pointless, unless we assume Chad punches gaping holes into the sides of his opponents’ heads. No rule against it!

The next time they would meet would be in the ring.

Ishida: Now a doctor, he is constantly astonished how his patients’ blood does NOT gush out into big beautiful blood tornadoes upon the slightest papercut. Is not a particularly good doctor but he can just stuff patients into gigais without their knowledge or consent and call it a job well done.

Ryuuken: Despite no longer being Ishida’s father, he still goes out of his way to belittle him but always with a reassuring line thrown in at the end to let the reader know that, deep down, he actually loves him (Like for example, “God, you’re still such a degenerate spawn that’s lower than the sperm that’s still in my nads because the tediousness of your existence froze my balls the moment you were born, and that sperm, which should never have become you because it was a devolution, forever spells out I HATE YOU, URYUU, but I’ll deign to stick around and teach you how to forge some silver soul sperm from your mother’s blood clot so you can be worth something as we’ll be able to destroy the last remnants of Yhwach’s energy with it together”). Is currently attempting to devise a surgery to pluck cash money out of people’s innards.

Orihime and Ichigo: The picture of marital bliss, as Orihime can shield herself and their friends whenever Ichigo randomly explodes with “darkness energy or whatever” during get-togethers. When asked what he does for a living, Ichigo always responds “Living!” with a wink and a nod and a nudge nudge and a “get it?”

Kazui: Is currently having the next twenty years of his life orchestrated to a tee by the actual last Quincies, Bach’s 9,999 great-grandfathers. As all of their conflicting evil designs for the young boy cancel each other out, Kazui would instead lead a life without hardship or strife slicing up tormented souls at age 4 and being raised as the human pet of his father, Tsukishima. No speaking, only purring! There, there. That’s a good little kitty.

Ichika: Has vowed to cut Kazui down at the point of his life he is the happiest.

Next chapter, they bankai!

Thanks for reading, folks. I had a great time entertaining you, and I’m sure Kubo did, too.