Monday, 3 March 2014

A Day in the Life of Juha Bach, Master Strategist

This is a rough draft of what I imagine the day of Juuha Bach/Ywhach must go like, seeing as Kubo decided the dude can't even have a bed to sleep in, never mind a table to have things on. Days in Magic Unnamed Interdimension Quincieland must be really boring.

My hobbies include staring blanky, staring at nothing and staring blanky into space. I also sometimes space out or get lost in contemplation.

5 AM: Wakes up, orders ice tea.
6 AM: Kills the person who brought him his tea because they did the job he wanted them to do
6:10-7:45 AM: Moustache Grooming
7:45-9:10 Watching Sturm der Liebe
9:25 Reads the newspaper
9:35 Has the meteorologist killed for being a prophet
10:00 Plays Chess
10:35 Deliberately sacrifices his rooks, bishops and pawns
10:46 Gets a second queen
10:51 Sacrifices said second queen because he was intending to lose her from the begining
11:22 If he loses he stabs his opponent. Meanwhile if he wins he stabs his opponent.
12:00 Eats dinner mostly consisting of cold, unheated sauerkraut, which he doesn't heat up to not upset his cold bloodedness.
13:00-18:00 Afternoon & Evening nap time. All loses experienced during this period by the quincies were meant to happen from the begining.
18:20 Takes his hollow antibodies supplements.
19:00 Goes to execute people with battle experience without bothering to get any information from them
19:01 Sends inexperienced rookies to try and take out the same people the previous guys were executed for not beating
19:20-22:45 Makes speach about peace while eviscerating his underlings
22:50 Has everyone leave the battlefield
23:00 Has everyone go back to the battlefield so he can have another invasion on record and can technically call the previous invasion a "success"
23:01 Goes to Sleep, listening to Wagner and thinking about his secretary, The E Sternritter, Eva.