Renji vs. Zabimaru
Renji, try not to ruin your face too badly in this fight.
Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.
Awwwwwww
Renji, you invent new ways to be terrible every day. I admire that about you. If I got brutalized by a snake boy who looks like he's the darling of human traffickers, and happens to have popped out of my innermost soul in that getup, I'd throw in the life towel altogether. At that point, you might as well spend the rest of your days eating dirt and sniffing for nuts and berries, there's no way to rehabilitate a human being from that level of humiliation.
I like how there's some strategy and thought put into how Zabimaru might go about battling, switching the sword between the two at will like that. A nice touch, all things considered.
Zabimaru says that now that they're separated from a weakling like Renji, they're keen to grow stronger. However, Renji's total lack of a sense of embarrassment actually does him good, and he presses forward, reminding himself of his ultimate goal, the reason he fights--to surpass Byakuya. And, just like Rukia, he's got to enter the fray accepting that he might kill his own sword.
Zabimaru's promise that they'll kill Rukia if he doesn't fight them seriously is probably just an empty threat. If not, then whoa fuck is Zabimaru a psycho. Come to think of it, Sode no Shirayuki ("I'm gonna kill Ichigo and Renji and that little Byakuya too!") and Kazeshini ("Pfft, I'm just gonna kill everybody.") were also born like that, weren't they? Maybe it's because of all these characters' extremely repressed urges to kill. Can you blame them, they work for the Gotei 13. Even Rukia has to harbor some sentiment to the effect of "Gosh, wouldn't be great if we all got a move on with this whole 'living in Soul Society under an inept, totalitarian, comically unjust military state' thing? Shinigami must be born with swords for a reason." Viva! Viva la Revolution!!
Shock a ho! ...You knew I had to make mention of it at some point.
Renji is able to reclaim his shikai form with sufficient willpower / resolve. I can't really think of a justification for that--the Zampak spirits are totally separate from their former wielders--apart from maybe that even if a shinigami's original sword spirit is cut off, his or her inner world would just spawn the same one again eventually. Hey, happened with Ichigo after Mugetsu, right? His shinigami powers only returned after he got run through with a Soul Society sword (in typical sorry-we're-not-going-to-tell-you-beforehand-because-that-would-ruin-the-false-tension fashion), a year and a half later, and yet his sword is still Zangetsu.
Of course, the problem with that explanation is that then there would technically be two Zabimarus at play here. We can count our lucky stars the Central 46 are no longer around to force Renji to fight to the death with the air for the unspeakable crime of two of the same sword existing at once, with both (no doubt to the Central 46's sadistic chagrin) belonging to him. (NOTE: read this if you don't get that joke!)
And that's when she fired the bankai's energy cannon! Aaand... go! ... Oh come on.
Renji surprises Zabimaru by using his weak point, kidou spells. Then he defeats them with that attack the anime guys love to use, Higa Zekkou, where the disembodied segments of Zabimaru fly in on the target independently. No wonder Zabimaru wanted out, half of Renji's victories rely on his sword getting broken first.
Hisagi vs. Kazeshini
"Sup bra, I heard you like killing swords so I put some killing in your killing sword. Thank me later, dawg"
So Hisagi is out on patrol, searching for the Zampak spirits alongside some subordinates, when Kazeshini appears as a killer tornado, murdering the fodder shinigami like they were scraps of paper.
"Meh, this squad needed new blood anyway."
Hisagi's reaction to this is not one of anguish and shock, but rather of dull surprise. I surmise that getting suddenly murdered as villain bait in mid conversation is so routine in Seireitei that their body-sweeper patrol is probably more robust than their scouting legion.
Kazeshini says he's perfect for reaping lives.
"Wooo-ee, weapons sure are made to kill people."
"Dude, I know."
Not to nitpick, Kazeshini, but the scythe blade thing you've got going on is actually pretty awful at killing people. I think you'd be better served plowing or whatever it is farmers do with scythes (sniff for nuts and berries?).
Also, what weapon isn't made to kill people? I don't think the majority of shinigami are running around with bolos and riot shields, Hisagi.
Contrary to what you might have expected, Hisagi out and out loses the fight and is almost soul-reaped himself, until Kira comes to his rescue, binding Kazeshini with kidou so they can beat their retreat.
"So, how would you rate my killing!?"
"Well, you didn't actually kill me or even maim me, so I'm going to have to say: bad."
"Noooo! Not like in Hisagi's wet dreams!!"
I wonder how they'll bend such a wicked (as in evil) sword into some semblance of decency after the arc is over.
Yeeeeeep.
Gegetsuburi (Omaeda's Zampak)
Gegetsuburi and Omaeda are like peas in a pod. An unmitigated failure pod with nincompoop peas.
"Whoa, where did you find your own bag of crackers? Can I join your side!?"
"And I'm loving every second of it!!"
Then Ichigo and Gegetsuburi engage in the battle of a century.
Because broadcasting your voice is the Stealth Ops way.
If I were Ichigo, I'd go back to practicing a little martial arts. No need to take out Zangetsu for a Zampak you were once able to punch straight through.
Man the power levels are fucked in this series.
All the more reason to resort to punching is Gegetsuburi's appearance, which is as a hip hop genie who's far too fond of twelve-course desserts.
There's nothing any of those shinigami could do against such a fearsome creature!!
Ikkaku vs. Houzukimaru, Round 1
This segment gives me ample opportunity to type the name Hooouuzzukimaaaaruuuuuuuuuuuuu
Hoooouzukimaru's design is great, but wouldn't it have been cool if he were really slender, too? lol
Luck, luck, luck, luuuuuuuck, luck
Shame on Ichigo for forgetting. The Luck Dance has a permanent place in my heart, overtaking silly things like compassion for non-cartoon entities, and a heart.
Their fight (one-sided as it was after Hoouuuzzukimaaaruuuuuu activated his bankai) is cut short when the cavalry comes in the form of a Stealth Ops ambush, and Ichigo chases after Ikkaku's fleeing blade, but he's blocked by a rush of Senbonzakura petals. Byakuya makes sure to pose atop a roof long enough for Ichigo to spot him before vanishing into the night.
"Instead of being forced into goodness like a square peg in a round hole, I thought I'd try this 'ambiguous' thing."
Byakuya's been AWOL all this time, worrying Rukia half to death. But we've seen a silhouette that looks an awful lot like him (hint hint exactly like him) attack hapless guards from the shadows. Could he be working for the enemy!?
Ichigo vs. Haineko and Tobiume
Ichigo is in pursuit of Byakuya, on behalf of Rukia, who is still bedridden after her ordeal.
You like Ichigo's "thingy," eh, Haineko? Get in line behind Aizen.
Oh look, two characters with breasts, according to all shounen anime this side of One Piece there is only one possible gag out of this scenario: uncomfortably rapey gropey breast comparisons. God I hate that shit. It's especially bad in BLEACH, where, lest we forget, a naked Rangiku basically sexually assaulted a naked Orihime with an impromptu tickle attack.
Sorry, did I just make this article not work safe
Hinamori and Rangiku take the two off Ichigo's hands, for which I'm sure he's thankful--what young man would want a huge-breasted babe fawning all over him. Now off to chase Byakuya again!
(Meanwhile, Kon is crying in his sleep.)
Hyourinmaru
Hyourinmaru is a shoot first, ask questions later kind of guy.
First Hinamori and Rangiku, now Hitsugaya--How do all these people just stumble upon their own Zampak spirits when Ichigo is around? How do they know to show up? As far as we the viewers know, it's always just a coincidence.
By the way, Muramasa told Hyourinmaru and all the other Zampaks to leave Ichigo alive... he's got plans for him. <<<<---------- PLOT POINT
The "Hyourinmaru is amnesiac" thing is resolved quite quickly once Hitsugaya convinces him this mere child's indeed the boss of him.
Don't you just hate that trope in all fiction ever where they can hold a conversation while encased in ice
This is how the anime introduced Hitsugaya's backstory (which I covered in the Movie 2 review), as an insert within this battle. Mite clever, I must say.
Look, they even did the fanartists' job for them. They thought of everything!
Hinamori and Rangiku vs. Tobiume and Haineko
You think Ichigo has shit luck, get a load of poor Hinamori.
One can understand where Byakuya is coming from. It's not everyday one gets to let off some steam with a little throat slash here and a little torso pulverizing there. He just may yet acquire the taste for destruction, mayhem and pain the Tsukishima fight promised.
Rukia: Trying to remember one good thing you ever did. Failing. A lot.
Byakuya: I did save you. Twice. Three times if you count the adoption.
Rukia: You know what? Why don't you give me Senbonzakura so I can defend my fucking self, and then we can call it even. Not very hard, is it, with such a hax weapon, you could probably protect me while loafing on a couch on the South Pole if you wanted to.
Lol at Byakuya refusing to tell Renji what's going on because "speaking to you is useless" or some such. You should probably work on your peers' perception of you, Renji. Sooner or later they're going to start thinking you're such a subnormal imbecile that they'll only ever bother to beat words into you with rulers and sticks. Renji reverses that logic back on Byakuya--he'll force an explanation out of him!! Unfortunately for Renji, he really, really sucks.
All the other Zampak spirits round up on Renji and Rukia's defeated forms and demand Byakuya seal the deal, or else they will oblige themselves. Soi Fong springs her ambush plan once again, and this time the Zampaks are cornered.
I like to imagine that Soi Fong had a hard time suppressing laughter at Sasakibe's funeral.
Byakuya: He was a great and noble man, who never did anything of value, but comfortably retained his lofty position. A man after my own heart.
Komamura: He was Yamamoto-sama's best and most trusted footstool. You will live in our hearts forevermore, Sasakibe Choujirou.
Kyouraku: We're gonna miss you, what's your name.
Soi Fong: He died as he lived. A fucking loser. Conga line everybody! Lose lose lose lose los-er, lose lose lose lose los-er!
We all saw the "use Flashcry as defense aura" thing coming, so the most notable thing here is that I believe this is the first time that anyone has told Soi Fong to "get herself a man already." You'd think her Zampak would know full well that men are just about the farthest thing from Soi Fong's heart. Half of her heart is taken up by her love of Yoruichi, and the other half by her eternal sneering at Sasakibe.
Soi Fong: I think I like you after all.
Why didn't Suzumebachi use bankai?
Iba's sword looks like this:
I would have made the materialization of Iba's sword a pinstriped gangster with a rhino horn. And Itegumo would also have been a pinstriped gangster with a rhino horn, only with three heads.
Meet Mayuri's sword sprite, Ashisogi Jizou:
So what I learned from watching BLEACH is that each one of those smiley happy guys is hiding a veritable cache of katanas under their chins.
DO NOT PET A JIZOU STATUE.
Ikkaku pulls off the same thing Renji and Hitsugaya did, and shikais without having defeated his Zampak first. Again, not sure how that would work. I'd say "Ikkaku's just that awesome," but then Renji and Hitsugaya did it, too. Still, there is something to say for a guy who can fix a dislocated shoulder just by flexing his bicep.
Perhaps the best explanation is that a Zampak can never be totally separate from the individual that gave birth to it, they must still be connected in some way. After all, wasn't Movie 3 about indelible bonds?
And if that bond be to a sword that slavers at the thought of indiscriminate slaughter, then so be it:
Remember how Kira was characterized as an indecisive depressive during the Amagai arc? Here's Kira Mark II, the Kira that doesn't take anybody's bullshit. A lesser man would give in to Kazeshini's taunting, but Kira understands the importance of tactics. But Kira isn't above applying a little intimidation by way of rapeface:
He even insults Kazeshini by calling him nothing more than a manifestation of Hisagi's stress. Unfortunately, he didn't follow up that comment with a jibe that Kazeshini is in fact a stress ball whose purpose is be squeezed and hugged.
Kira's bluff that he took back his shikai works wonders and he's able to set off a band of explosives right in Kazeshini's face. Kazeshini out and out loses to Kira through pure strategy, and Kira didn't even break a sweat. Now that is fucking cool.
That's when Kira's own sword, Wabisuke, appears.
Wabisuke gently rubs Kira's sword, and Kira is understandably entranced.
Wabisuke has Kira cornered, but then Kenny indulges in a voice exercise (i.e., laughing his head off for no apparent reason) and the whole block goes kaputsky. So this is what happens when Kenpachi takes a day trip.
~Duh ra ra nuh nuh nuh, nuh nuh nuuhhh, duh ra ra nuh nuh nuh nuh nuuhhh~
Kenny Must Rampage
Yachiru gives us an explanation as to Kenpachi's absence: When "Yamamoto's" summons came, he was off in the Rukongai slaying some random Hollows. Then he spent the intervening time lost, wending his way back for some real meaty carnage. Jeez, they can't even send fodder shinigami to kill fodder Hollows anymore. Ichigo can kill a normal Hollow by lightly jabbing his sword at it from nine football fields away, all Kenpachi had to do was flex his pecs.
Kenny easily wrecks Wabisuke and asks his trademark question, "Who among you is the strongest?" He settles on Byakuya and clears the room with yet another SPIRIT ENERGY BLAST!
By the way, Ichigo's been fighting Senbonzakura all this time.
When Ashisogi Jizou comes, Ichigo gets poisoned along with most everybody else. Mayuri arrives to self-destruct his own sword with that detonator he uses. Time for comic shenanigans.
Mayuri offers to "modify" Ichigo in addition to healing him, with just a single injection (of a syringe that contains corrosive acid).
Kenpachi merely demands that Mayuri leave Ichigo capable of fighting.
Unohana (captain of the healing division, Squad 4) tells Mayuri she's already concocted an antidote to his poisons, to which Mayuri replies that his next poison will be way too deadly to remedy so quickly. I sense a tense work environment.
Meanwhile, Yachiru chases Ashisogi Jizou around.
Afterwards, Mayuri interrogates the only live Zampak they've got, Gegetsuburi (the other Zampak spirits that returned to the fold contracted amnesia about the whole Muramasa incident).
I think the word Mayuri is looking for is "vivisection." You're welcome, Mayuri.
Fast forward to things that matter, Yoruichi tells everybody she's found the cave where Yamamoto is being kept!!
I get the feeling that Muramasa is pleased with the outcome of his plan.
Shall we tally the Hinamori Horror count?
- Embroiled in a pointless mind game, then stabbed by her beloved captain. Beloved captain turns out to be a fiend as heartless as he is invincible, and bent on domination and cooking up twisted half-Hollow monstosities.
- After a brief coma, she is so unhinged by her total betrayal that she's trapped in glassy-eyed denial before snapping out of it, probably causing her squad to mistrust her at least a little.
- Her own sword spirit (also once loyal and loving) mocks her with the most barbed and spiteful invective.
- During the war, she gets stabbed again by Aizen, this time through her best friend Hitsugaya.
I think I understand why shinigami while away so much time in Soul Society doing nothing, it's because if they actually did do their jobs, they'd need more hours of counseling than even thousands of years could provide.
I like how Hinamori and Rangiku took them down (cleverly distracting them, and then attacking the other's sword through concerted teamwork) and how that contrasts with Haineko and Tobiume's ceaseless bickering. But by god is that bickering annoying. Why can't we ever have female villains who get along? Or, at the very least, not openly hostile towards each other? It's the same damn story every time, why are they even together in the first place, if they hate each other that much?
My eyes rotted away. |
Hinamori and Rangiku defeat each other's Zampaks, but they don't "conquer" them back. They elect to tie them up and send them back to Seireitei for analysis. However, they're freed from their cage-wagon in mid-transit by a mysterious shadowy figure who looks an awful lot like Byakuya (hint hint exactly like Byakuya).
After Muramasa observed Ichigo's fight with Zangetsu, he had to vamoose due to his unstable corporeal situation (i.e., he was vanishing). Next we see him, he's staggering through Hueco Mundo, to the anime-only underground of Las Noches where legions of Gillians reside (we saw this "Forest of Menos" before in the brief filler arc mentioned here.)
Muramasa Visits the Forest of Menos for a Snack
After Muramasa observed Ichigo's fight with Zangetsu, he had to vamoose due to his unstable corporeal situation (i.e., he was vanishing). Next we see him, he's staggering through Hueco Mundo, to the anime-only underground of Las Noches where legions of Gillians reside (we saw this "Forest of Menos" before in the brief filler arc mentioned here.)
Muramasa doesn't even need to pimpslap to pimpslap.
NOT ANYMORE!
You know, I don't remember Kariya or Amagai effortlessly wasting whole populations of Menos Grande while limping and crying blood. Then again, Kariya was busy planning his next betrayal that hour, and Amagai was probably choking on his own spittle.
Muramasa needs to feed.
But Hollows are empty calories!
It's those antagonists from the aforementioned Forest of Menos arc, the non-Arrancarized Adjuchas-level Menos trying to suck up to Aizen. Now they know their true master. And Aizen continues not to give the tiniest little fuck about them, lol.
Byakuya's Betrayal!
Muramasa returns from his Hollow-devouring bender right to where Ichigo and company are, but he's still in rough shape. Senbonzakura arrives to prevent Muramasa from getting killed.
Shock a value!
Watch the video for Byakuya's declaration of defection to Muramasa (towards the end).
Byakuya: Remember when I told you I wanted Rukia dead in order to uphold the law?
Ichigo: Yeah. That was dumb.
Byakuya: I'm pleased to report my disavowal of that ridiculous notion.
Ichigo: Uh oh.
Byakuya: From now on, it is the law that is dead to me, and I'm only interested in following the church of myself.
Ichigo: Only the first part of that sentence is news to me.
SOOO... the anime guys finally bit the bullet and made Byakuya a bad guy again! The only real route to take Byakuya's character. Hahaha, that maybe fooled viewers for all of zero yottaseconds. You'll be happy to know, however, that Byakuya is playing rogue for a reason that's not too utterly ridiculously deranged, considering the nature of Muramasa's TRUE OBJECTIVE (oh shit I spoiled that too now).
Byakuya Destroys His Sister's Sword
You're goddamn right your mind is incomprehensible, Byakuya.
So Muramasa has Byakuya destroy Sode no Shirayuki to silence the objections of the other Zampak spirits, but Senbonzakura is still going to keep an eye on ol' Byaky--or so he claims. We've been told that if a shinigami defeats any Zampak spirit apart from his or her own, that sword will break.
Byakuya: I'm doing all this to safeguard my sainted PRIDE.
Muramasa: I think the word you're looking for is "evulz," actually. Typical Kuchiki.
Byakuya: What was that?
Muramasa: Evulz. It's like a mix of evil and lulz.
Byakuya: What are these "lulz" you speak of?
Muramasa: Oh right, I forgot a Kuchiki is honor sworn to bite his own tongue off if he ever so much as smirks.
Hyourinmaru: Smirking? Eww gross.
Renji and Zabimaru vs. Byakuya and Senbonzakura
Muramasa: I think the word you're looking for is "evulz," actually. Typical Kuchiki.
Byakuya: What was that?
Muramasa: Evulz. It's like a mix of evil and lulz.
Byakuya: What are these "lulz" you speak of?
Muramasa: Oh right, I forgot a Kuchiki is honor sworn to bite his own tongue off if he ever so much as smirks.
Hyourinmaru: Smirking? Eww gross.
Renji and Zabimaru vs. Byakuya and Senbonzakura
"Byakuya-nii-sama, why did you slay everybody in the building!?"
"Look at it from the long run. They were all going to die eventually anyway, weren't they?"
"It was for the evulz, wasn't it."
Rukia: Trying to remember one good thing you ever did. Failing. A lot.
Byakuya: I did save you. Twice. Three times if you count the adoption.
Rukia: You know what? Why don't you give me Senbonzakura so I can defend my fucking self, and then we can call it even. Not very hard, is it, with such a hax weapon, you could probably protect me while loafing on a couch on the South Pole if you wanted to.
Lol at Byakuya refusing to tell Renji what's going on because "speaking to you is useless" or some such. You should probably work on your peers' perception of you, Renji. Sooner or later they're going to start thinking you're such a subnormal imbecile that they'll only ever bother to beat words into you with rulers and sticks. Renji reverses that logic back on Byakuya--he'll force an explanation out of him!! Unfortunately for Renji, he really, really sucks.
All the other Zampak spirits round up on Renji and Rukia's defeated forms and demand Byakuya seal the deal, or else they will oblige themselves. Soi Fong springs her ambush plan once again, and this time the Zampaks are cornered.
Soi Fong vs. Tenken and Gonryoumaru
Watch for Soi Fong, god queen of trolling.
I like to imagine that Soi Fong had a hard time suppressing laughter at Sasakibe's funeral.
Byakuya: He was a great and noble man, who never did anything of value, but comfortably retained his lofty position. A man after my own heart.
Komamura: He was Yamamoto-sama's best and most trusted footstool. You will live in our hearts forevermore, Sasakibe Choujirou.
Kyouraku: We're gonna miss you, what's your name.
Soi Fong: He died as he lived. A fucking loser. Conga line everybody! Lose lose lose lose los-er, lose lose lose lose los-er!
Soi Fong vs. Suzumebachi
At the end, Yoruichi appears to sweep her off her feet, and she blushes. No wonder she's obsessed with you, Yoru.
"Yes, I do get off on this. Why?"
We all saw the "use Flashcry as defense aura" thing coming, so the most notable thing here is that I believe this is the first time that anyone has told Soi Fong to "get herself a man already." You'd think her Zampak would know full well that men are just about the farthest thing from Soi Fong's heart. Half of her heart is taken up by her love of Yoruichi, and the other half by her eternal sneering at Sasakibe.
Soi Fong: I just realized. If you're fastest and nimblest little killer around, couldn't you kill everyone in the Gotei 13 effortlessly?
Suzumebachi: No doubt about it.
Soi Fong: I think I like you after all.
Why didn't Suzumebachi use bankai?
That's why.
Konjiki Ashisogi Jizou Runs Amok
How come Sasakibe's sword gets a materialization, but not Iba's and Isane's?
Iba's sword looks like this:
I can't tell which one's sexier
Kubo still hasn't given it a name, but Isane's sword is named Itegumo:
In that shining moment, she did not expect that Ichigo's fist would be crumpling her spine
I would have made the materialization of Iba's sword a pinstriped gangster with a rhino horn. And Itegumo would also have been a pinstriped gangster with a rhino horn, only with three heads.
Meet Mayuri's sword sprite, Ashisogi Jizou:
If I saw a butterfly with those wings I'd fucking scream. Yet they look positively cute here. What does that say about the ugliness of that baby?
Much like how Komamura's sword, Tenken, is modeled after olden Buddhist statues, so too is Ashisogi Jizou. A "Jizou" is one of these smiley happy guys
So what I learned from watching BLEACH is that each one of those smiley happy guys is hiding a veritable cache of katanas under their chins.
DO NOT PET A JIZOU STATUE.
Also this could happen too
Don't ruin your trip to Japan
Ikakku vs. Houzukimaru (Again)
"Come at me, bro!"
Ikkaku pulls off the same thing Renji and Hitsugaya did, and shikais without having defeated his Zampak first. Again, not sure how that would work. I'd say "Ikkaku's just that awesome," but then Renji and Hitsugaya did it, too. Still, there is something to say for a guy who can fix a dislocated shoulder just by flexing his bicep.
High speed regeneration is for pantywaists, Ichigo.
Perhaps the best explanation is that a Zampak can never be totally separate from the individual that gave birth to it, they must still be connected in some way. After all, wasn't Movie 3 about indelible bonds?
And if that bond be to a sword that slavers at the thought of indiscriminate slaughter, then so be it:
Kira vs. Kazeshini
Kira doesn't even need his shikai to beat your ass.
Remember how Kira was characterized as an indecisive depressive during the Amagai arc? Here's Kira Mark II, the Kira that doesn't take anybody's bullshit. A lesser man would give in to Kazeshini's taunting, but Kira understands the importance of tactics. But Kira isn't above applying a little intimidation by way of rapeface:
"Ikkaku gave me pointers on how to accentuate my rapeface. Now if you excuse me, I think I'm off to Finland to found yet another flavor of metal, perhaps 'Soulcore.'"
He even insults Kazeshini by calling him nothing more than a manifestation of Hisagi's stress. Unfortunately, he didn't follow up that comment with a jibe that Kazeshini is in fact a stress ball whose purpose is be squeezed and hugged.
Kira's bluff that he took back his shikai works wonders and he's able to set off a band of explosives right in Kazeshini's face. Kazeshini out and out loses to Kira through pure strategy, and Kira didn't even break a sweat. Now that is fucking cool.
That's when Kira's own sword, Wabisuke, appears.
If if it's all the same to you, I'm going to use the same joke from the last article about growing a pair.
"Delivery?"
Wabisuke gently rubs Kira's sword, and Kira is understandably entranced.
"You see, when two blades love each other very much... one gets really heavy."
Wabisuke has Kira cornered, but then Kenny indulges in a voice exercise (i.e., laughing his head off for no apparent reason) and the whole block goes kaputsky. So this is what happens when Kenpachi takes a day trip.
~Duh ra ra nuh nuh nuh, nuh nuh nuuhhh, duh ra ra nuh nuh nuh nuh nuuhhh~
Kenny Must Rampage
Seriously, the dub has him go: "And I must rampage."
Yachiru gives us an explanation as to Kenpachi's absence: When "Yamamoto's" summons came, he was off in the Rukongai slaying some random Hollows. Then he spent the intervening time lost, wending his way back for some real meaty carnage. Jeez, they can't even send fodder shinigami to kill fodder Hollows anymore. Ichigo can kill a normal Hollow by lightly jabbing his sword at it from nine football fields away, all Kenpachi had to do was flex his pecs.
Kenny easily wrecks Wabisuke and asks his trademark question, "Who among you is the strongest?" He settles on Byakuya and clears the room with yet another SPIRIT ENERGY BLAST!
Yumichika vs. Ruriiro Kujaku
Only in the Japanese culture do swordsmen pick fights over "aesthetics."
Yumichika, the berserker Squad 11's perennial pretty boy and 5th Seat (he's only not 4th Seat because "4" is an unlucky number). He doesn't want to leave Squad 11, because he, like 3rd Seat Ikkaku, loves being under Kenpachi's command. However, were he to reveal that his sword is a magic, indirect damage-type, he thinks that would be an enduring shame among his division of brutes and savages. That's why he intentionally miscalls his sword's name as "Fuji Kujaku," which releases it in a weaker form. His sword's real name is Ruriiro Kujaku.
"Your worries dumbfound me, Yumi! Surely my mohawk alone would allow me to blend in with your squad!"
So Ruriiro is understandably a little ticked off that Yumichika basically can't use him 95% of the time, unless his opponent just happens to have a "cloak you in darkness!" power.
"Is there any crueller end for those who value their beauty?"
Yes. Quite a few, in fact. You could have sicced a ravening bear on Yumichika, one that's just now shaking off its tranquilizer so it chomps on Yumi's flesh faster and faster. You could have gathered together a legion of incontinent ducks to shit on Yumichika's head until he contracted a blood disease and wasted away to nothing. What about a sawfish in each eye? And those are just the animal-related suggestions; when Ichimaru finds a new Arrancar too ugly he turns it inside out (by opening his eyes) and raps on its still-beating heart with drumsticks.
Yumichika did use Ruriiro Kujaku's true power once during the Soul Society Arc to easily defeat Hisagi, and that afterglow wasn't from whatever he did to Hisagi's unconscious body.
You see, Ruriiro Kujaku is probably one of the most hax swords in the series, as it's an energy drainer. But this time, it's Yumichika in the crosshairs.
"I'm glad you're in my squad, Ayasegawa. You fulfill every single one of the diversity criteria."
You see, Ruriiro Kujaku is probably one of the most hax swords in the series, as it's an energy drainer. But this time, it's Yumichika in the crosshairs.
"On the one hand, my life force is getting channeled away from me before my very eyes. On the other, I look goddamn fab."
I don't blame Kujaku, since Yumichika did try to break him in frustration while training in the human world.
"I hate your uncooperativeness, sword whose real name I refuse to use!"
Kenpachi vs. Byakuya
I like how they remembered Kenpachi is supposed to be ridiculously difficult to cut or slash, so that means Byakuya's itty bitty shards won't do jack to ol' Kenny.
Anyway, the shinigami vs. Zampakutou free-for-all concludes when Konjiki Ashisogi Jizou crashes the party with a cloud of poison gas.
By the way, Ichigo's been fighting Senbonzakura all this time.
When Ashisogi Jizou comes, Ichigo gets poisoned along with most everybody else. Mayuri arrives to self-destruct his own sword with that detonator he uses. Time for comic shenanigans.
Mayuri offers to "modify" Ichigo in addition to healing him, with just a single injection (of a syringe that contains corrosive acid).
Kenpachi merely demands that Mayuri leave Ichigo capable of fighting.
Unohana (captain of the healing division, Squad 4) tells Mayuri she's already concocted an antidote to his poisons, to which Mayuri replies that his next poison will be way too deadly to remedy so quickly. I sense a tense work environment.
Meanwhile, Yachiru chases Ashisogi Jizou around.
Afterwards, Mayuri interrogates the only live Zampak they've got, Gegetsuburi (the other Zampak spirits that returned to the fold contracted amnesia about the whole Muramasa incident).
I think the word Mayuri is looking for is "vivisection." You're welcome, Mayuri.
Fast forward to things that matter, Yoruichi tells everybody she's found the cave where Yamamoto is being kept!!
Mission: Rescue Yamamoto! Invade that Cave!
So Yoruichi fights off that irasicble duo, Tobiume and Haineko.
Ichigo fights off Kazeshini
Kenny beats back Tenken and Gonryoumaru
But none of that matters so skip that shit. Sorry, I'm just dying to get to the part where... ahem.
There are a couple of interesting fights. Kyouraku tussles with his double swords, Katen Kyoukotsu, and Ukitake does the same with his own pair, Sougyo no Kotowari (who look like little kids, and Ukitake hates fighting little kids!).
There are a couple of interesting fights. Kyouraku tussles with his double swords, Katen Kyoukotsu, and Ukitake does the same with his own pair, Sougyo no Kotowari (who look like little kids, and Ukitake hates fighting little kids!).
Kyouraku's dirty, dirty mind
Kyouraku's got a "longer blade and shorter blade to vex enemies" thing going, but does he even really need that? I mean, isn't he one of the most powerful captains ever? Moreover, you may be asking yourself why Katen Kyoukotsu doesn't activate that weird "make children's games real" shikai power that was revealed during Fake Karakura. But Muramasa's orders for Katen Kyoukotsu, Sougyo no Kotowari were simply to stall our heroes out, so if push came to shove we can assume they would have relied on powers that were only revealed by Kubo later.
Wasn't it said earlier that Katen Kyoukotsu, Minazuki, and Sougyo no Kotowari were placed as points in the energy chamber keeping Yamamoto at bay? Then what are they doing out and about? PLOT POINT PLOT POINT PLOT POINT
Right by the energy barrier, Muramasa taunts Ichigo: hit me with your best shot, fire awaaaaaay.
WATCH THIS VIDEO, IT IS THE SHIT
After watching that video, kindly watch this one:
Fooooled yooooou!
Muramasa never cared about any "Zampakutou rebellion." That was all a ruse. From the beginning, his only objective was to gain control of the sole sword power he needed, the ultimate invincible all-destroyer, Yamamoto's Ryuujin Jakka. Yamamoto trapped himself into that barrier to ward off Muramasa's clutches, and so Muramasa came up with the story that he trapped him there so that the rest of the Gotei 13 would try to free him. He soon seized upon Ichigo's strength to free Yamamoto, combining it with his own power to finally crash through that barrier and rob Ryuujin Jakka for himself.
During the Amagai arc, I said that BLEACH Twist Syndrome was mostly groan-inducing. But here's an example of a magnificent, extremely well executed twist. This is the good kind of twist I was talking about, the kind that makes you watch your friend all giddy and expectant while you force him or her to watch the entire arc with you just for this glorious moment.
During the Amagai arc, I said that BLEACH Twist Syndrome was mostly groan-inducing. But here's an example of a magnificent, extremely well executed twist. This is the good kind of twist I was talking about, the kind that makes you watch your friend all giddy and expectant while you force him or her to watch the entire arc with you just for this glorious moment.
So the Zampakutou are just a tad pissed that Muramasa's been exploiting them all this time for his own selfish ambitions, but Muramasa hastily proves he's no longer in their lowly league.
Muramasa obliterates the cave in an orgy of flames. I downloaded this episode (247) in the highest quality I could find just to make the following screencap.
DON
DODON
DODODON~
I get the feeling that Muramasa is pleased with the outcome of his plan.
Lol, why can't the writers of this filler arc take over Kubo's job - or at least give him advise on how to use twists XD ?!
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