AfB: Black People Are Wacky! Laugh!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

AfB: Use Your Brain Bleach

BLEACH hasn't been faring very well in the JUMP Table of Contents for a while now, and its volume sales, while still respectable, are slipping as well. And yet it seems like, as a series, it's simply rolled into so much moss that the editors have let it continue rolling down the hill on the condition that this is the “last arc.” Oh, they've attempted some life support. There was a stretch where BLEACH got color pages every other week, but by now they've probably realized that first aid spells, far from helping, only succeeding in doing bonus damage to the undead. Here are all the color pages since the beginning of the Quincy blitzkireg, complete with my snarky ass captions.

"The final war us readers have been toothing after since the beginning--can Ichigo finally defeat Zangetsu!?"

 BLEACH was a manga all about holy wars up until now, but you didn't figure that out because it was a fourteenth level secret (it was scrawled in microwriting on Rangiku's nipples in every panel, including ones without her in them. It read "WHY ME cruSADe").

Attack From Behind: BLEACH Meets Call of Duty, FINALE

Let's tackle the rest of this quaint little fic we're all far superior to

When last we left off

• More random ghost sex from extremely forced pairings
• Senna from Movie 1 helps the our men in uniform
• Ichigo's family held to ransom him to unlock Soul Society for slaughter! They should have just waited for the following Tuesday, SS was already naturally due for another apocalypse
• Russia in turmoil from civil war! Will IMRAN ZAKHAEV's name sound even eviler, now that the ultranationalist insurgency has reached its apex?
• The military of the nation of heroes mounts its attack on AL-ASAD's jihadist compound, but he managed to slip away! Meanwhile, insanely powerful gods among men Kariya, Gin and Aizen twiddle their thumbs as they watch their puny human comrade in awe.
• Hinamori is Hitsugaya's new lieutenant, as paperwork is a foremost priority during a time of crisis and leaving a division without a captain or a vice captain is an amazing idea
• The Gotei 13 discovers Aizen's illicit stash of nuclear warhead blueprints and... and...

PICTURES OF THE RUKONGAI NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Although I can see why they'd want to censor such photos

More shock and terror and ghost boobs after the jump

Attack From Behind: BLEACH Meets Call of Duty, Pt. 3

When last we left off, Ichigo was given a reason to fight the evil jihadists when his points of vulnerability, otherwise known as sisters, found their kawaii faces rammed into dark spaces for gunpoint ransom. Meanwhile, the evil shinigami are inexplicably terrified by the terrorist boss, and his base is attacked by Marines whose exploits I don`t care enough to describe!!

Also Kariya

Haven`t you heard that old adage, to get the WIND KICKED OUT OF YOU

I love that I get to use the vampires tag for this review series.

Attack From Behind: BLEACH Meets Call of Duty, Pt. 2

When last we left off:

• Rangiku had been banished so that she may become entangled with Ichigo SEXUALLY
• Aizen, Ichimaru and KARIYA had seen fit to lend their aid to Russian secessionists with a taste for jihad, for reasons yet unknown but probably diabolical in nature. SS doesn't know Aizen and Ichimaru are bad guys yet, so this is set before the SS Arc??
• The US and British governments had sent their best and brightest soldiers to rescue their Russian informant in the wake of the assassination of the "President" of Saudi Arabia at the hands of the jihadist leader, the evil Al-Asad.
• The scalps of Syria's Bashar Al-Assad and Kariya Jin are both exceedingly flat.

 

"Ahaha, you are silly and likely Western trash-dog spy. Your shoulders are like runway of my jet"

"Yeah well at least *I* don't look as though anybody could come over and lift and detach my face by cupping my ears."

Place your bets for what happens next before the jump, we're diving into Chapters 5-8!

Attack From Behind: BLEACH Meets Call of Duty, Pt. 1

My friends, it's time I pitched a throwback to those glorious old days I riffed badfic. I'm in a jovial mood and a certain horror must be mocked for our amusement.

That badfic is Bleach: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

After fighting enemies in every arcs, and every thing that they overcome, the Soul Society faces a new and powerful enemy. That enemy... is terrorism. Welcome to the world... of Modern Warfare. Based on the video game. Ichigo/Rangiku. Another couple.

Another couple!? MY CURIOSITY IS WHETTED.

Attack From Behind: Byakuya Vs. Blacula--A Character Study

Wouldn't you know it, it's

This week on Attack From Behind, we're going to continue in the vampiric theme and do an article I've been wanting to write for a long time: Why Blacula is better than Byakuya. Not only a better character--a better person.

Who is Blacula? BLAHcula! What a foolish, mortal question.

Also known as: "Blácula, o Vampiro Negro," and "Le vampire noir"

Attack From Behind: Filler Arc Spectacularama Numero Trois

Ready to laugh at some shiny vampires? It's

's

!!

Attack From Behind: Filler Arc Spectacularama Numero Second

Last time on!

Urahara put Ichigo and friends through twisted mind games in order to properly introduce his three new filler-only modsoul characters with outrageous powers and personalities! Those modsouls are also BOUNT DETECTORS, created in anticipation of the BOUNT MENACE. Bounts are ageless vampires that feed on human souls and whose weapons are talking "dolls"! A female Bount named Yoshino engages in something of a romance with the de-powered Ishida, but the other EVIL Bounts need Ishida's QUINCY HAX for their own nefarious purposes! Kariya Jin is the UNDISPUTED leader of the evil Bounts, and he also has an annoying butthurt former shinigami liutenant of Squad 11 named Ichinose on his side! How can they possibly be stopped!? And, most importantly, how will Ichinose face karmic justice for killing the lulzy-ass snake whip Bount?

Without further ado, it's Part Two!

I like how even Sawatari's cane is glowing. Such is the power of vampires on bug juice soul steroids.

Attack from Behind: Filler Arc Spectacularama Numero Prima

 

Drumroll, please. It's filler arc mocking time. IT'S OUR

Wherein we discover that vampires are afoot.