Hole of Reproach: Flashback Follies

The heat.....so much.....heat.....must.....complain.....about Japanese comic books....


Well, this week we continue where we left off, namely Bach chosing Jugo Haschtagwald as his protegé. Of course Bazz is not happy about that, but Bach counters saying how Haschwalt is a walking energy amplifier, telling Jugo:

Yes because if there's one phrase that comes to mind in relation to Mr. "You don't need your legs to be able to talk to me" it's "giving and sharing". Are you Santa's bastard son going through his grunge phase or what ?

Nevertheless, it does appear that it was Hasch's proximity which made Bazz such a "genius" (for an all knowing deity you sure know absolute jack about Bazz "I have made fun of his powers so often it's gone old, been beaten to the ground and then bounced back and become popular again via the hipster effect") and this gets ol' Bazbaz good and mad so he goes "fuck this subterfuge crap" and just goes

I've spent literally years of my life to get close to you but I'll just fire at you now when there's tons of people around who can stop me, fool proof plan !

And yet Bach still hires him later. I guess you can't hope to find random comatose brains in a jar with aspirations of moderate mediocrity every day.

Now everyone, I think we can all guess what happens next right ? Yeah, of course Haschwalt catches the arrow, and he does so after a completely natural character progression of:

I love how he just randomly switched sides AND became a lifeless automaton. Cause that's what Kubo thinks kids find "cool".

And before you hope we can learn more about this, nope, flashback over, Haschwaldbrick slashes Bazz, end of chapter.

You know, in hindsight, that was a good flashback. Sure, we didn't find out if there Quincies are alive or not, we don't know what plane of existence it took place on and most of it consisted of people standing around in a village square looking at each other and Bazz's previous reactions to Bach's betrayal seem a bit at odds with how he "always wanted to kill Bach", kind of like "we have always been at war with Eastasia" sort of way but it was still good, because we got to watch Haschwalt and Bazz train for five minutes and see that Sternritter recruitment drives are basically "You want the job, well fuck off you can't have it."

In all seriousness though, it's pretty sad how Haschwalt had more emotion in those few panels the past two weeks then he has had for over three years. Makes you wish Kubo didn't think "stoic arrogant douchebag" was the best possible characterisation ever.

Hole of Reproach: The Confusion Deepens

This week, I've been somewhat at a loss what to say. Because all that really happens is Bazz almost kind of fights one guy and then Bach shows up.

We basically start with how Bazzzz and Hasch spent years training, and how Haschwalt was totaly inept and unable to do anything.

Yeah, he doesn't even raise people from the dead or spouts inane gibberish about emotions,  a total failure.

To be fair, Haschwalt's inability to make bows and arrows doesn't really seem to matter seeing as we've not seen any of the Sternritter even use those abilities at all.

Then all of a sudden some nameless Vandenreich goons show up, wearing those totally period clothes.

Of course the horses being there raises a boatload of other question if this ISN'T the living world.

So the Quincies could invent the modern tie 600 years early, and Soul Society can't get people shoes. You know, you'd almost root for these guys, until you remember the entire organisation is intentionally based on having people intentionally get killed fighting in an endless war just to prolong the life of a single person.

And then we get the following exchange:

Imagine being a regular joe and then someone shows up and tells you the army is going to invade Heaven. How do you even respond to that ?

They came over to announce recruitment for the new Sternritter, and then bugger off without recruiting anyone. Bazz has to step up and push himself into the dude's face in order to even get noticed, so you have to wonder how Bach even gets new soldiers seeing as two times we've seen his recruitment drives, in each the people involved had no intention of actually recruiting anyone.

Either way Bazz tries to beat the uniformed douche up but suddenly Bach appears and uses his reiatsu to squeeze everyone to the ground, saying he wants to find his right hand man and then picks Hashwalt.

The sad thing here is Haschwalt here is showing more emotion then he has literally at any point in the past. Hell, even last chapter he was doing that not at all totally worn out thing of looking at the opponent with a vacant, half disgusted expression and loweverd eyelids cause we sure as hell didn't see every single opponent ever make that face, no sireee.

This chapter wasn't as bad as the last one in terms of being confusing, but still didn't really clear up even the most basic of storytelling principles, such as where this is even taking place, and really, almost nothing happened. It's sad to see Kubo slip back into his catatonic pace.

Hole of Reproach: Space-Time has started to melt

So this week, Kubo has finally delved into some backstory for his Quincies. Problem is he's still Kubo and so he slapped together a sequence of events that warp space time to the point where not even killing Hitler can make things much worse as far as preserving History is concered.

Okay so we start out with Haschwall and Fingerzz B fighting and that prompts Bazz to have a flashback about randomly stalking Haschwalt in the forest as kids.

After several pages of the two arguing, and Bazz saying he'll teach Haschwalt how to handle his powers since he sucks at it, we then get a cut to....the beginning of the madness.

I, and all the other readers and probably Kubo as well for that matter, have no idea what "Northern Lands" Kubo is talking about here. And the following page just makes it so much worse.

This panel has managed to confuse and befuddle me, like Kubo hasn't been able to do in years.

To start off, the "human world" in this series has always been a version of the "real world". We've never gotten any indication of it being something else. And yet here we have Bach apparently having conquered the whole world around a thousand years ago, since this seems to take place before the Quincies hid in the shadows, as Eyepatch dude talking to Bach is still alive, and he was resurrected by Yama's bankai when he fought Not-Actually-Bach, plus Bach was supposed to have been asleep for 999 years.

Now where this gets extra crazy is Quincies are supposed to be humans. But Haschwalt and Bazz are alive back then. And Hashwalt is dressed in modern clothes.

Worse, we don't even know if this may reffer to some other realms in the afterlife beyond Soul Society, because Kubo has never established anything, so we don't even know if the Quincies in the present are alive or are kinda-alive via being made out of spirit particles.

So if it takes place in the human world then the entire world's history has apparently been completely different and we've learned about it 631 chapters after assuming the opposite, or this didn't take place in the human world and Kubo didn't say anything, and apparently people had clothes made about nine hundred years in advance of human technology, but now everyone still wears impractical feudal clothes and uniforms.

Kubo has successfully screwed up his timeline to the point where it's beyond repair, and all because he couldn't be arsed to remember what he himself wrote before, all for the sake of the story being "fresh".

Hole of Reproach: The Pacing Improves. It only took 150 chapters.

Sorry for the delay this week, I've been feeling a bit under the weather these past few days, as my sinuses have moved on to execute their dastardly plan of suffocating me by cutting off my supply of air. So I've not really gotten round to it yesterday.

Then again I do this for free. So take that as you will : P

So we finally found out the reason for Askin's random explosion last week. Grimmjow attacked him. Good except the way it happened made it seem both totally mysterious and unaknowledged by the main cast, so it still is Kubo failing at sequential storytelling.

"That was last week guys. Last week. C'mon."

Then we move onto a scene of Askin running away. I will grant Kubo this, he is giving the guy at least some character, though that may be because he ran out of emotions for people to blabber on about inanely. Still. Though you have to wonder how Grimmjow doesn't see that Askin is obviously running away because he has some kind of obvious evil plan.

"I wanna go fall into this very obvious setup on my own !"

I do hope Grimmjow has practised his shocked face, he's gonna need it soon.

We then switch over to the Quincy palace, where Haschwalt is receiving a report from a random quincie about the "Really-should-have-thought-of-a-different-name" Schutzstaffel and how they and Uryuu went out to fight the Shinigami one on one out on the streets. And you gotta hope they can still fly because otherwise that's gonna be a disadvantage considering the setup of this new Quincie Realm isn't exactly making out Bach to be the champion of work safety.

This guy still had more screentime then Okikiba, just fyi.

So apparently there's still other quincies around, but Bach only slurped up all the ones who can actually fight. Regardless, Moustachio gets killed off by Bazz "I only have one move" B, who then confronts Haschwalt over the whole "murdering all of their own soldiers" thing.

Well your powers are literally "stick a finger into things" so I am kinda shocked you made it this far.

To be fair, the whole "join an organisation perpetuating an endless cycle of war to result in the deaths of everyone that joins it for the personal benefit of the guy who leads it" plan sounded a lot better on paper. Also Bazz and "The Clinically somehow still alive man" were bffs before. I really want there to be a fullbringer as obssessed with friendship as Pepe with Love, As Nodt with fear and Bach with "winning".

Bazz is the new Rainbow Dash.

Also apparently at night Bach and Hashbrickwalt swap powers and Bazz thinks it's a great idea to kill Haschwalt when his powers are "invincible cause reasons".

Next chapter promises some kind of flashback. Not really sure that I look forward to spending more time on Quincie Renji but then again, beats watching Dollar Store Thor or Token black guy fight the shinigami.

Hole of Reproach: Things Happen for Some Reason

This week in Bleach, we start off our adventures with: Bach sitting on his ass not doing anything. Then we transition into an entire page of Urahara and Shunsui looking at stuff before Shunsui notices Mayuri's not there. Quite why you'd let a guy who commited genocide and mass murder on a semi-regular basis out of your sights is beyond me, good thing you are handling things so well Captain Commander.

We switch over to Mayuri's location where apparently he ditched the group for the sake of his "research".

"I must discover the secret behind Bach's clever use of the palister to create a retro 19th century look while retaining a modernist finish !"

No, really, he's standing on a floating rock at the mercy of an allpowerful murderous demi-god who can make shit blow up with his mind without getting off his ass, and apparently Mayuri really, really needs to instead research a random corner of this star structure thing instead.

Don't worry though, because now him and Kenpachi, who stayed behind cause one guy in his squad, who keeps complaining that he had to go take a leek, are arguing and threatening each other, while the world can get destroyed any minute by the God Monster that's controling Bach's brain, his moustache. And of course some more of Kubo's humour.

It's almost avantguarde how unfunny this is.

Then we get another scene where Ichigo's group are running around, and what do you know, they argue and split for no reason. Maybe it wouldn't have been such a huge issue if the entire first half of the chapter wasn't about the exact same thing.

Askin sees Ichigo and company, and....blows up for some reason ?

Look I'm not leaving anything out. He stands there, whines about having to fight Ichigo and then just....explodes or something. If this had anything to do with what Bazz and Liloto (?) are doing in the next scene, the framing is so awkward I still have no fucking clue, and if it's not then I have literally no idea what happened, which is always a great sign of competence on the creator's part. Unless this is Aizen's bankai, randomly blowing up people who complain too much.


...OH SHI-

Speaking of Fingenji and Loligirl, they and Zombie Girl are at the "Gate of the Sun"....apparently.

Quincie Architecture: It looks like a giant just jizzed all over everything.

I still don't know, do those two bent curvey pillar things outside of Bach's palace work as a teleporter ? What IS the "Gate of the Sun" ? I may sound impatient but there's a difference between having something mysterious happen and just having random shots of random things happening without any evident or even hinted cause and then just going along with business as usual.

We then end with the stinger of Bazzzzzz wanting to kill Bach and Haschwalt. Because we're supposed to consider the Most Boring Living Male Clothes Mannequin as an actual threat. Dully noted Mr. I Finger Things for a living.

Join us next time when the Shinigami will stop and argue some more while Nel and Grimmjow will split off from Ichigo vie Nel chasing Grimmjow's to stop him from screwing things up so then Kubo will have to keep track of five things at once. Oh boy.

AfB: Mysterious Men Who Like to Sit

Hi, readers. It's been a while, mostly because I've been lazy. But also because the mysterious men of Bleach have also been a bit lazy. They haven't really gotten around to doing much besides be mysterious, you see.

Things'll change, after just forty or so of the fights he hates! He won't be sitting anymore, he won't be sitting in a blank featureless room! He's looking to advance his station in life!

Oh sure, Yhwach slurped up the Soul King and became even more omnipotent, but only after dozens and dozens of chapters of truly heady stalling.

"Now, uhhh... Hmm. You wanna go out, Haschwaldt? Maybe, I dunno, grab a bite? Long day. Yeeeep."

 What happened to the boots, Bach my man? They were fetching!

Can you blame them for wanting to take it a bit easy? A solid ninety percent of this whole war saga has been about commuting between various planes of existence. Bopping between heaven, hell and three or four other goddamn pocket dimensions a dozen times in a day has got to be an exhausting itinerary. Besides, the whole of reality is about to receive a fresh new paint job; any sightseeing they might have been able to do on their wild Chutes and Ladders ride through space has been rendered thoroughly un-Tripadvisor-able!

So there's only one thing left for us. Let's all take a page from the clear vital moral this series is trying to tell us, sit down with a , and ramble about inconsequential filler fluff in a disorganized fashion!

Hole of Reproach: We have arrived ! Now let us continue standing in place !

Is this true ? Has the prophecy day come at last ?

Yes. The Shinigami have officialy walked through a door, after a volume and a half. Now that they are here and see just how powerfull Bach is surely they're gonna kick into high gear an-

Sorry sorry, I couldn't keep that going with a straight face. No, of course the Shinigami stand in place for four pages, so we can then get a whole page panel of the reconstructed royal realm.

It doesn't look bad, but really it's just the same thing as it was before with something in the middle and something to actually connect these because, as the Shinigami discover later, you can't fly here anymore. Not that Kubo ever established any rules for that. Also, taking bets on how long before he forgets. Also also kinda shocked Bach even cared enough to put this here since all he cares about is killing off his Quincies so he can suck their life force but whatever.

Yoruichi suddenly notices her brothers Reiatsu and Ichigo, being on his recent "Why is no one telling me stuff" kick asks why she never brought up she has a brother. Yoruichi wonders why she should tell people she spends ages around anything about herself and we then get a joke where Kubo remembers she used to go around as a cat. No explanation for why she ever did that, but hey, it's something I guess.

It's funny cause it's a thing that happened

We then spend four and a half pages with Yourichi's brother nearly killing himself by falling because if there's more reishi around, it's harder to use for a foothold apparently. During this time, the Shinigami never move their asses, but at least we can be sure the most important people made it to the Royal Realm.

 We are the perfect assassination duo. Nobody remembers us, mostly because we're so unmemorable, still Bach will never see it coming !

Well, that's good I thought for a second the Shinigami were in trouble. Still, that doesn't explain where Okikiba is ! What the hell Kubo, don't you know your own priorities ?

After they come to realise the Soul King is probably dead, Shunsui tries to rally everyone up by posing the oldest question, the question that must never be answered, the one they've been running from all their lives:

Well, you've already shown you have the response time of a glacier so I'd say it's about fucking time.

Then Bach's own palace, which we never really got a good lock at or inside except that it has empty rooms with nothing in it, pops up on a huge pillar of stuff.

I give credit that it has a lot of detail, but Kubo's probably spent all his creativity points on this one page, so the inside will probably just be a lot of stairs.

The true final battle aproaches: Bach's Chair vs Aizen's Chair !

We end with a shot of Bach, sitting atop his latest chair. Bach seems be quite the connoiseur of sitting accomodations, as he's had at least two other chair thrones he's menacingly sat on since this arc began. Still isn't so keen on the whole "have any other type of furniture around" thing though.

Stay tuned for next week, when the Shinigami will maybe spend a whole chapter chatting with Ichigo and company and end up looking at Bach's Palace with all kinds of determination before the chapter ends.