Attack From Behind: Filler Arc Review [5]

Hiya! It's another installment of Attack From Behind, and today we cap off our stupendous and really quite endearing review of the Kasumiouji Conspiracy arc with Filler Arc Spectacularama, Part the Fifth! Take it away, Amagai!

Your Plot Point Has Expired: Fullbring Marathon part II

When we last left off, Ginjo used childish taunts to recruit Ichigo to an organization which had been brainwashed minutes before, and yet still managed to recruit a gullible mexican several days ago, and which all depended on Ishida kindly being amazingly unhelpful.
Now that the fullbringers have their impossible setup and impossible organization, it’s time to move on with my rundown of their scheme, though I won't promise I won't segway into seperate rants, because there's just so much dumb to go around this arc. Anyway, let's get started.

Phase III: it’s not training if theres’ no unnecessary risk of death!
First, let me get out of the way the fact that we have absolutely no idea why Ichigo is suitable for training in the first place, as he by no means fulfills the fullbringer criteria of pre-birth hollow attack on parents. He’s just thrown into training scenarios designed for fullbringers and expected to cope, with no reason given, and doesn’t ever question why it works. Of course Kubo may reveal the reason down the line (*Snort*), but still, you’d expect Ichigo having a bit of a reaction to learning that undead monsters might’ve assaulted his pregnant mother.


Odds are this would be that reaction had it ever been brought up.

And somehow, getting fullbringer powers will cause Ichigos small remaining gooey center of shinigaminess to reappear. Look, I don’t give a crap if this is all “fake Xcution”s thoughts and not Real Xcution, it still needs to make sense because hey, Ichigo accepts everything unquestioningly! Where in the world does Xcution have the knowledge of how to train an individual as unique as Ichigo from, how do they know using Mugetsu has left him with a lingering trace of shinigami powers, and how on EARTH do they know that fullbring is the way to go in order to get it back? You can’t just say that “it doesn’t need to make sense because it’s all an act”, because on their current good-guy setting, the Fullbringers firmly believe that everything they say is true. It must make sense to them, and has to come from somewhere. So what, does getting your memories of Tsukishima shaken up a little somehow bestow this divine knowledge of how to train human/shinigami/hollow people who’ve lost their powers through the final Getsuga Tenshou (they’re quite common dontcha know)? I don’t get it. Or did they have spy cameras filming Ichigos battle with Aizen…and the interior of Ichigos body?

“We also know exactly how Hollow Ichigos clothes looked. No, I don’t know how.”

Anyway, first part of the program is getting stuffed into Peronas dollhouse for a cagematch with a monster, because obviously Xcution knows with 100% certainty that Ichigos fullbring, which he has never used and no one knows how will work, will be suitable for fighting it. However, this dangerous one-on-one fight is necessary for Ichigo to discover the rules of fullbring, realize the importance of his badge, and how to unlock his ability.

Wait no, Ichigo is completely hopeless until Chad tells him about the importance of mediums and how to draw powers from the badge. Guess what? This way of teaching Ichigo Fullbring doesn’t require him in any way to fight a giant monster! And is much faster! And makes sense! It baffles me that Xcution would have Ichigo, who is of paramount importance to them - both brainwashed and not – needlessly exposed to dangers that have a high risk of killing him.

…A risk made a hundredfold greater by Bradleys (yes, I know he has a proper name. I’m not using it) completely asinine decision to put two of his timers of doom on the plushie and the box. His unbelievably hax yet moronically utilized powers is a topic for another day, but basically he imposes the unbreakable laws that 1) the plushie will buff up and go berserk unless Ichigo uses fullbring within 15minutes (Fucking 15 minutes! This series is known for Ichigos ridiculously speedy developments, but come on!), thus making it even harder for Ichigo to fight it, and 2) No one can leave the dollhouse before 30 minutes have passed. In effect, this means that if someone tries to remove the unarmed Ichigo from the recently mutated berserk monster before the 30 minute mark, Ichigo will be instantly incinerated. Bradley, what the hell is it to you how fast Ichigo wins his fight, and how long he stays in the damn box?

“Welcome to medschool. If you don’t finish this assignment in 30 minutes, you die. No, we’re not going to tell you how”

This stunt gains Xcution absolutely NOTHING and puts their entire plan – both fake and real- in jeopardy for NO REASON. And people like Ichigo aren’t exactly common. Bradley, you really suck at being a productive Xcution member. And a villain. And in general. Why on earth did Ginjo keep this moron around. Also, quite curiously, after Ichigo finally obtains the Getsuga Shuriken, this apparently qualifies to have him plucked straight out of the box with hardly a second thought, the whole 30 minute thing forgotten.

Come to think of it, why does Xcution even have ANY training program? As has been recently revealed, they all had pretty excellent control of their powers prior to joining, and seemed to avoid socializing and showing off their moves to each other. And the so called “former members” that left never actually existed. So it seems like they never trained each other. Also, since apparently fullbringers can share/infuse powers (yet another way in which they “don’t ever change”), you’d think that in their brainwashed state they’d just pool all their power into one guy, which would normalize the rest. Unless the brainwashing made them forget they could do that. Somehow.

Still, moronic though it was, this way of training was good for one thing: It contained the only contribution Chad made this entire arc.
No really, I’m not kidding. Giving Ichigo the incredibly basic hint of “You like your badge” is Chads shining moment in this entire mess, and it is a hint any other member of Xcution could just as easily have given. He doesn’t help with the training after this point, doesn’t defend against Tsukishimas attack, and he doesn’t even restrain Ichigo after getting brainwashed. Virtually no point of the plan relied on Chad in any way…and yet they went out and recruited him. For no reason.
And worst of all?

Kubo Tite: The Secret Theme of The Lost Agent Arc is that it was the volume on Sado

Attack From Behind: Filler Arc Review [4]

On a very special article of

We shall discuss the great big web of MURDER and ASSASSINATION at the heart of the second filler arc, the Kasumiouji Conspiracy!

 

Oh... oh God, where are the assassins!?

With this many freakin' assassins, just as many people are bound to die, right!?

Attack From Behind: Movie 1 Review

Hola! It's

I'm doing all the filler arcs, might as well do the movies as well. At this rate my column will be a great big anime continuity snark. And I'm perfectly fine with that. So let's dive right into this prestigious blog's very own high class

And boy, lemme tell ya, they weren't kidding with "Memories of Nobody." By far the least memorable of the movies. Movie 2 is memorable for being immoderately retarded, Movie 3 had Dark Rukia, and Movie 4 was a Madcap Adventure in Hell written by none other than Kubo himself. But before I rewatched the movie there as exactly one thing I remembered, the scene where Ichigo's lifeless body gets tossed in an ambulance while he's out killing a Hollow in his substitute shinigami form, having neglected to use Kon's pill instead of his substitute badge.